#28 A Salute to Significance with Lauren Schieffer

When you lead with significance, success will follow naturally. 

In this thought-provoking episode, Devin is joined by Lauren Schieffer, daughter of an Air Force Officer, keynote speaker and author whose “kernels” of wisdom have earned her international renown. 

Tune in as they explore why it matters to choose impact over accolades, the value of respect and Lauren’s nine essentials to making all things possible. 

If you have an influence on someone else - and don’t we all? - this is one you don’t want to miss. Listen now, available wherever you get your podcasts!
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Guest website: https://www.laurenschieffer.com
Buy Laurens's Books: https://laurenschieffer.com/laurens-book/
MUDWTR: https://www.mudwtr.com/devin

For the full experience, check us out on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DevinHendersonSpeaker 

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:05

Hey everybody, welcome to the Possibility Mindset podcast. I'm Devin Henderson, I'm your host and I truly believe that something greater is always possible for you. Well, hello, Lauren Schieffer. How are you?

Speaker 2: 0:21

I am terrific Good. It's great to have you here today.

Speaker 1: 0:24

Yeah, I can't do that without pointing at the camera. This time I did do something different. I didn't snap before I pointed. I usually snap and point, so I'm trying to like it's fun to have sort of like a regular opening so people like, when it's episodic, people are like, oh it's the music, I know it's the opening that I know. So you like to have it consistent, but at the same time sometimes it's fun to vary it up so you don't feel like a robot or something. Well, before we jump into introducing exactly who my friend Lauren is, let me just let you know about Mudwater. All right, lauren, do you want to guess how many days off coffee I am at this point?

Speaker 2: 1:04

A week.

Speaker 1: 1:05

I like how I got the gasp from you, because I noticed that one of the things you do, you drink in your words, too much coffee, sometimes right, which I can relate. That's why I've taken a break. Are you ready for this? Tell me, I'm 143 days off coffee, so like 20 weeks plus Wow, I know, I know I'm just.

Speaker 1: 1:24

The listeners know They've been following me. They're on the edge of their seats with is he finally going to come back and say he went back to coffee? Uh, I'm just trying to see if I can reset my body and, um, get my energy back, you know, get my focus back, get, start sleeping well. So, uh, mudwater is something. Uh, I want to tell you about Mudwatercom, slash Devin. It just has a fraction of the caffeine that coffee has, about a third, and it's supposed to induce alertness, not dependency. Improves mental capacity and function, physical stamina, performance, immunity, overall health. So it's mushroom-based. It has lion's mane, cordyceps, reishi, chaga, turmeric, cacao for taste. I put honey in mine. I drink it daily. I forgot it today. I was halfway here and I was like forgot my mud water and I never forget my mud water. So, anyway, I'm on the journey and I miss coffee, I miss the smell of it, I miss the ritual, but mud water is sort of that replacement to see if it's like perhaps healthier.

Speaker 1: 2:22

So I endorse this kind of like. I hate to say halfheartedly, not wholeheartedly, but since I'm, I don't want to be like it's the best Cause it's like I'm still in it. I'm still in trying as a journey. So I'm inviting the listeners hey, do you want to go on this journey with me? Do you feel like coffee is owning you? Do you feel like you're getting like the afternoon caffeine crash? Jump on board with me for this experimental journey and let's see if it happens. So you can try it. Just go to the show notes. The link is there. It also helps support the show. Mudwater that's mud. W-t-r no vowels in water. Mudwaterwithoutthevowelscom. Slash Devin. The code is Devin if you're asked for it. So there it is. That's Mudwater. I'm guessing, with being the coffee drinker you are. What are you thinking? Is that all appeal to you? Or do you feel like coffee is good for you? Maybe you don't even think it's bad.

Speaker 2: 3:09

I don't know. Well, no, there's no question that I have a caffeine addiction and it started with soda. Oh yeah, hey, all right.

Speaker 1: 3:22

Speaking of, and hold that, because I forgot to do it last time. I you said soda, how was the soda here at, etc. Oh, it's awesome, it's good, it's awesome. Okay, thank you, etc. For breakfast zach ate with us today. We had. It was like this whole fun. It was, I feel, like thanksgiving breakfast wise. Don't laugh like it is, it's not true, um, but it was really nice. So thank you. Excited for the space for the breakfast. Uh, for lauren's soda.

Speaker 2: 3:43

It was really nice, so, thank you, exota, for the space for the breakfast for.

Speaker 1: 3:45

Lauren's soda. It was excellent. Yeah, so thank you. Okay, so back to you and the soda. It started with soda, huh.

Speaker 2: 3:50

So when I was pregnant with my daughter. Now, let's be honest, there's a convenience store in the southwest. It's called Circle K and they have something called a Big Gulp which is 44 ounces.

Speaker 1: 4:07

I thought Big Gulp was like exclusively a 7-Eleven thing.

Speaker 2: 4:11

Well, at that time it was Circle.

Speaker 1: 4:14

K. Okay, okay, all right.

Speaker 2: 4:17

In the desert Southwest that we were living.

Speaker 1: 4:19

Because isn't that dumb and dumb where he's like hey guys, big Gulps, huh.

Speaker 2: 4:21

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 4:22

Well, see you later.

Speaker 2: 4:24

So I would stop on my way to work in the morning and get a Big Gulp.

Speaker 1: 4:27

Okay.

Speaker 2: 4:28

I would go out at lunch and get a Big Gulp, and I grabbed one on my way home. Okay 44 ounces times three. What is that? That's a lot of caffeine.

Speaker 3: 4:37

You're asking the wrong guy.

Speaker 2: 4:38

That's a lot of caffeine and so. So my doctor said I really need you to cut back on caffeine. And because I never do anything, halfway I told myself I had to cut it out completely.

Speaker 1: 4:49

Yeah, I'm the same way. Like Billy Joel, I always go to extremes. Yes, right, yes.

Speaker 2: 4:54

So that was three weeks worth of just crushing headaches.

Speaker 3: 4:58

Okay.

Speaker 2: 4:58

Wow, the wise woman would have stayed off of caffeine.

Speaker 3: 5:01

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2: 5:02

Mm-hmm, but by the time I got pregnant with my son, I was back on the big gulps.

Speaker 3: 5:14

And I had to kick it again.

Speaker 2: 5:16

The wise woman would have stayed off of it. But the wise woman is not sitting across from you. So and then you know, my husband had always said we'd been married for a long time and he'd always say, well, you have to drink coffee, everybody drinks coffee. I said I don't have to do anything. No, he's like really you have to drink coffee. And I had a really dear friend Her name was Mary Beth, and she did what my husband could never do, and that was get me hooked on coffee.

Speaker 1: 5:43

But it was the sweet I thought you were going to say you slapped him across the face.

Speaker 2: 5:46

No, no, no no, no, no, it was the sweet fancy coffees.

Speaker 3: 5:50

Ah, yeah, you know.

Speaker 2: 5:53

And so I've been drinking coffee ever since. Wow.

Speaker 1: 5:57

And it's kind of owned you somewhat.

Speaker 2: 5:59

No, I mean I don't, it's not like oh, okay, I have to have my coffee.

Speaker 1: 6:11

No, I'm messing with you Again. That's mudwatercom.

Speaker 2: 6:12

slash Devin all right for you addicts out there, but if I go, you know, till three o'clock in the afternoon and I haven't had a cup of coffee, my headache will tell me so.

Speaker 1: 6:21

That's really weird, because the first day that I quit I felt really like sick to my stomach that night and I can't remember if I had a headache or not, I really don't remember. But it was just one day, it was not three weeks. So I grew up on pop. You say soda, I say pop and um, and so yeah, and so then I switched to coffee, like somewhere in my young adult life. So I never was really like fully off that heavy dosage, daily dosage of caffeine. So like this is green tea, you know.

Speaker 2: 6:48

So oh, because I was. I was gonna make a snide remark about the fact you're drinking yeah, it looks like I'm right, right.

Speaker 1: 6:53

Yeah, I know but it's herbal it's well. Green tea, I don't think, is technically herbal. I'm not a connoisseur, but uh, it's about, I think, the same amount of caffeine that you get in mud water, about 35 milligrams, where coffee is like 100, right, so you have three of these. It's like one coffee and for me I was drinking like three, four cups a day easily.

Speaker 2: 7:12

Oh, I don't do that no problem Really.

Speaker 1: 7:15

Like before gigs, like before speaking gigs, I'd wake up early kind of, start getting in the zone, drink my first cup, and then they have coffee down. Drink my first cup, I want one. Then they have coffee down at the. There's a coffee station, it's free. You're like, oh, this is easy, and I just keep taking it because it was just like, it was just fun. I just liked having that warm cup of hot roasted beanage in my hand. I was like this is nice. It was not like if I was like I need to wake up, maybe that was like the first one or two cups and then it was just like this is fun to drink this.

Speaker 2: 7:42

Yeah, I drink it more for the flavor than anything else.

Speaker 1: 7:44

Yes, it's the warmth and the flavor yeah, that ritual part of it, yeah, I don't even think about the caffeine jolt.

Speaker 2: 7:51

I mean, I'm sure I get it.

Speaker 1: 7:52

Yeah, and I'm sure.

Speaker 2: 7:53

I miss it if it's not there, but I love the flavor.

Speaker 1: 7:57

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 7:57

Which is weird because when, I was little. It tasted like motor oil to me.

Speaker 1: 8:02

Oh, I know, I know, isn't that funny how that switches over. Yeah, this is the Coffee Addicts podcast, in case you're just tuning in. Well, awesome.

Speaker 2: 8:08

Lauren? And how much sweetener do you put in your coffee? Don't even ask me, because I have people that raise their eyebrows at me.

Speaker 1: 8:14

Yeah, let us know in the chat how often. Oh wait, that's a virtual gig, all right. Lauren Schieffer grew up in the Air Force.

Speaker 3: 8:24

Yes, sir.

Speaker 1: 8:25

Being uprooted and relocated every couple of years. The lessons she learned from the Colonel in quotes and you'll learn more about that have helped her make smart decisions and overcome adversity with humility and a sense of humor, of course. Since stepping away from corporate America to work for herself, she has spoken in seven countries. That's more than I've done too, so bam, but I am international, all right, but she's spoken in seven countries too Associations, organizations, federal, state and local governments, as well as Fortune 500 companies, helping them improve the effectiveness of their communication, reduce unnecessary conflict and help them lead Helping, lead them out of drama.

Speaker 1: 9:06

I almost I read that earlier and I was like oh, that's cool. And I almost said help, helping them lead out of a drama, which sounds like you're leading from a place of drama, but you're leading them out of drama. So my wording had to choose that very carefully and make sure I read it word for word. So I have daughters, so I'm all about let's lead people out of drama, right, mainly me. I'm the biggest drama queen in our family. Anyway, when she's not speaking, working with clients or consuming way too much coffee, she loves adorning the back of her husband's motorcycle and singing Broadway show tunes. All right, so here it is, lauren Schieffer. So many questions have popped up during our breakfast conversation and out of this bio, and I feel like our interactions have always just been hey, how you doing? Hey, we're at NSA conventions and there's not a lot of time to sit down and get to know each other. So this is really fun to kind of like dive in a little bit.

Speaker 2: 10:02

So I had the privilege of seeing a mutual friend of ours recently that I hadn't seen him forever. Dorinda, dorinda, nichols, oh yeah, and. And she threw her arms in the air and she said Fender fluff. And she's the only one that gets away with calling me that, besides myself. But I am, I am Fender Fluff, that's funny you are and you own it oh. I had T-shirts made.

Speaker 1: 10:31

Nice, I had T-shirts made.

Speaker 2: 10:32

The front says Fender Fluff and on the back it says I make his bike look good oh yeah, that's right.

Speaker 1: 10:39

So tell me about these Broadway show tunes. How did that start? Is it constant from stop to finish? Is it just like you break out into it and startle him and he kind of shakes the bike like whoa, she's doing the show tunes thing? How does that pop in there?

Speaker 2: 10:52

Well, it's not always simultaneous. I'm not always on the bike when I'm singing Broadway show tunes. Often I'm in the shower. I spent a lot of my life in the theater and doing musical theater, musical comedy, and I don't quite have the chops that I used to.

Speaker 1: 11:10

Okay, because Put over the roar of a motorcycle or the gentle water of a shower. See, that's the great thing.

Speaker 2: 11:16

That's the great thing about being on the back of the motorcycle, because, for someone who is inherently a control freak, uh-huh, yes, I am.

Speaker 3: 11:25

I own it, you're in good company today.

Speaker 2: 11:27

Yeah, it's the only time that I have the opportunity to really just let go of control, because if a passenger tries to control anything on a motorcycle, it's dangerous. You have to just let go and let the driver ride Wow. So I have my helmet on and I have nothing to control, nothing to do, and I just start singing.

Speaker 1: 11:54

He probably doesn't even hear you. I just realized that.

Speaker 2: 11:58

Sometimes it depends on how fast we're going and whether we have the mics hooked up.

Speaker 1: 12:05

Oh, okay, because we have mics in our helmet. You do have a mic system. All right, nice yeah.

Speaker 2: 12:09

But when we get to speed, sometimes it's like so garbled, it's like yeah honey, I don't know what you're saying. Sitting on a porch swing listening to the light rain.

Speaker 1: 12:18

You know, I don't know. If you're ever like annoyed with him, do you just turn your mic off Like it's not working? I can't Sorry.

Speaker 2: 12:36

And you just turn it off is not a show tune.

Speaker 1: 12:39

Okay, all right, what's your favorite song?

Speaker 2: 12:41

It's it's an old carpenter song.

Speaker 1: 12:43

Okay, top of the world, okay, nice. Do you know that? No, give me a little bit of it.

Speaker 2: 12:48

I'm on the top of the world and looking down on creation. I'm. The only explanation I can find Is the love. Okay, that's enough.

Speaker 1: 12:59

Yeah, no, I recognize it. I didn't recognize it by name, but yeah, I've heard that one. Okay, great, wow, that's awesome. Another fun fact, because we want to jump into something about significance here in a moment, because that's kind of where we're going with this. But you told me right as we put the headphones on and started talking to the microphones that you were the last recorded voice for something for the ford motor company back in 84 to my knowledge and give me that voice your door is a jar and did that go into?

Speaker 1: 13:27

like many cars, like I mean, you're too young to know that there was a time when that was what you heard. Okay.

Speaker 2: 13:36

Please turn off your blinker.

Speaker 1: 13:38

Okay, wow.

Speaker 2: 13:40

There was a time. Now you get ding, ding, ding ding ding, ding.

Speaker 1: 13:42

Okay, I see, I see Many of you are probably hearing that voice and you're like oh my gosh that's her.

Speaker 2: 13:49

That's crazy.

Speaker 1: 13:50

Wow, did you do more voice talent than that?

Speaker 2: 13:52

I did a lot of voice talent.

Speaker 1: 13:53

yeah, Did you really Wow, okay, that's crazy. See, I did not know this about you. That's fun. Lauren's actually from here in Kansas City, from Bonner Springs, which is really close to Shawnee, where I live, and Bonner is where Zach is from as well. Go Braves, yeah, all it is high school mascot. Shout out right, that's awesome. Um, so so she's part of the nsa kansas city family, the national speakers association, our local chapter. That's mainly our, our normal, our original connection. Right, candy worley was on the podcast a few months ago. She's another part of the family and I was telling candy that when I would go to convention and we would always have like an nsa kansas city sort of like a dinner. It really fun. It felt like this is my family.

Speaker 2: 14:33

Yep.

Speaker 1: 14:33

It just I don't know. It was always kind of like okay, these are like the people that I just feel safe and comfortable around, like, oh, familiar people amidst all these people that I, you know, I hardly know. So it was really nice. So it's kind of like having family back.

Speaker 2: 14:47

Yeah, back here. So that's great, and one of my best stories about an NSA convention is a story about you.

Speaker 1: 14:53

Oh, really, yeah, no way, it's embarrassing for you. Oh, it's embarrassing for me.

Speaker 2: 14:57

Oh yeah, okay, cool yeah because my very first convention, which we now call Influence right. Nobody told me that there was this big gala event at the end and that it was a dress up. You know we call it NSA, prom right.

Speaker 3: 15:14

Right, right right.

Speaker 2: 15:15

I didn't know that, and so I hadn't come prepared, so I had to throw something together.

Speaker 3: 15:20

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah and.

Speaker 2: 15:21

I pulled all my hair up and I, you know, and I had flowers in and I walked in and you-.

Speaker 1: 15:28

I remember exactly what I said you started to walk past me and I said Devin, and you said oh, I didn't recognize you.

Speaker 2: 15:37

You look good, that's what he said and I said I'm not quite sure how to take that.

Speaker 1: 15:47

Yeah, yeah, I was like that was like two thoughts that got thrown together and made it sound very bad, like, oh, typically yes, but now it's, you know, yeah, it was like two different thoughts that, when thrown together, that did not come across well. So I think the next time I saw you I was like, let me try this. So hey, you look great, yeah, and I know exactly who you are.

Speaker 2: 16:11

Yes.

Speaker 1: 16:12

From the moment I walked into the room. Lauren, that's awesome. Okay, so let's jump in now. Tell me the difference between significance and success.

Speaker 2: 16:24

Most of us are programmed from a very young age to chase success. Success is about me. It's about how much money I make and what my title is and what my accolades are and where my parking spot is. There's nothing wrong with success. There's nothing wrong with making good money for what you do, and I don't want to be misunderstood about that. But significance is different. Significance has nothing whatsoever to do with how much money I have or make. It's about how many lives I touch and the manner in which I choose to impact them. Because how we impact others is a choice, and the colonel always said anyone can be successful, kiddo. Choose to be significant.

Speaker 1: 17:22

So from a very young age, I was taught to chase significance instead. That resonates with me deeply, right, because you know we're in the same industry no-transcript, so many listeners and I want that. But it's about what? What significance am I having for in people's lives? You know so when they listen to this, when they listen to a guest like you, it's not about well, let me go see how many people listen to that a week from now, or you know how many people downloaded it. It's like how has how is me bringing Lauren on here changed, changed the people and made a significant difference in their lives, right?

Speaker 3: 18:24

So it's not about numbers and success.

Speaker 1: 18:26

It's just about, hey, we're improving the quality of people's life and work. But when I get caught up in the success race then it is about numbers, money, all that kind of stuff and it's superficial, it doesn't bring lasting joy.

Speaker 2: 18:42

But the significance does. Here's the thing I believe that when we focus on significance and truly that's where we're leading from our heart and our soul Success follows. It follows naturally. And I was having a conversation with some colleagues the other day and she has the opportunity to have a really amazing exposure nationally. And I just kind of said offhandedly well, you know, I'm never going to be a national media sensation, but I serve a lot of people from the background and I had not meant that as disparaging to myself. And, of course, because we're in the industry, we're in they're like now. Don't say that you know you could blow up tomorrow and be a national name. I'm not fooling myself. You know the people that I'm intended to touch I will touch and nothing can change that and nothing can stop that, and I don't have to be a national name to do it. But when I focus on significance, success naturally follows.

Speaker 2: 20:03

When anyone focuses on significance, success naturally follows.

Speaker 1: 20:07

Well, you're a professional speaker, you've been doing it a while and you're a master storyteller. So I know you get on stage and right now this is resonating, it seems like, with your clients, with your audiences this concept of significance first, and then success follows. So how are you doing that from the stage and how can you? Even today, I'm putting you on the spot Is there a story you'd like to share, whether it's from your keynote or something that the listeners could go? Oh, because for me, like I was like, it resonates deeply. Maybe someone else, maybe they need a story or something to you know. Is there I know I'm putting you on the spot big time Well, and maybe not a story maybe just going a little deeper with how Professional speakers always have a story, yeah, ready.

Speaker 2: 20:48

The question is, how can I narrow it down? So my father the colonel had a habit of saying he would stop in the middle of a sentence and he would say pay attention, kid. This is a road sign in your life. You need to decide if you're going to follow it or not. So one of the stories that I tell from stage is about the fact that my because my father was a handyman and a mechanic our cars were always breaking down.

Speaker 3: 21:19

Always.

Speaker 1: 21:25

And long before cell phones. And you know, roadside service.

Speaker 2: 21:29

And Ford voices in your car saying hey, your door is ajar my father would stop to help every time because people had stopped to help us. At that point in history, when you're stranded on the side of the road, you know dad would pull out his magic toolbox. But if it was something that the magic toolbox couldn't fix, we'd have to wait until someone stopped that the magic toolbox couldn't fix.

Speaker 2: 21:58

We'd have to wait till someone stopped, and so my father stopped to help it was part of the DNA of our family and I remember one time we stopped to help a family broken down on the side of the road outside of Quemado, new Mexico. Now, just in case you don't know, Okay, I don't. Quemado. New Mexico is halfway between God's nowhere and never heard of it. New, Mexico.

Speaker 1: 22:17

Oh, okay, all right.

Speaker 2: 22:20

The family was Hispanic and spoke very little English. They had three small children and one very much on the way. And my father had been stationed in uh at Torajone, first base outside of um Madrid, so he had a little bit of Spanish. So I watched dad pull out his magic toolbox Between halting English, halting Spanish and sign language. Dad and the stranded father went to work. Now, my sister and I were all too familiar with this, so we pulled out our box of toys and a bag of snacks, sat down with the three kids to keep them company. Morning turned into afternoon and still they tinkered, still they toyed. Afternoon turned into late afternoon and the father got into the car to try one more time and the engine sputtered and then roared to life.

Speaker 2: 23:36

All right and the colonel bellowed in victory and he was covered in grease from ear to ear and the stranded mother started to cry and all of the kids ran over and threw their arms around my father's legs.

Speaker 2: 23:55

And the dad reached a greasy hand and he said Vaya con Dios, mi amigo. And as we watched them drive off into the sunset, dad started to shake. He said Pay attention, kid, this is a road sign. We were significant today and I've carried that with me. You know, we gave up a day, a full day, standing on the side of the road. But without us, who knows who would have stopped for that family? Because at that time in history people who didn't speak. English in.

Speaker 1: 24:38

America were less common. Wow, yeah, that is significance.

Speaker 2: 24:42

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 24:43

Having significance. That's amazing. So tell me more. Yeah, then, thank you for that. And I think, with the listeners, I mean it's kind of like they can draw their own conclusion from that, right? Well, what does that mean for me, you know, it's like how can I give up a day, give up a few hours, give up five minutes, right?

Speaker 3: 25:02

Yeah, it doesn't have to be a day To work for significance, right?

Speaker 1: 25:05

Sometimes it might be, but sometimes it's just about paying attention and going out of your way to open the door for someone or say hi, it can be that small to have a moment of significance, right. So when you start, I'm guessing you would agree that if they start thinking with a significance mindset in their day-to-day, they're just going to impact their family, their lives, their clients, their customers, everyone they serve, their community in such bigger ways and you start seeing things that you'd never seen before, because you're watching for it right, watching for moments of where can I have significance?

Speaker 1: 25:34

Oh, I love that. That's great. So this sounds like this is an idea that came from the colonel, your father, yeah, so tell me more about the colonel, because this has become not just a part of who you are. This is like part of your brand now, your speaking brand, and it's where you've learned a lot of your lessons, where you've learned a lot of your lessons.

Speaker 2: 25:51

It is my brand, and it wasn't originally, though. Okay. So my father was a career Air Force officer, okay, and he was an imposing figure. He stood six feet six and a half inches tall. He was 285 pounds on his very leanest day, wow, and he had a personality that entered the room five minutes before he did.

Speaker 1: 26:14

That's a big man. I didn't know the Colonel was that ginormous. He was a big man.

Speaker 2: 26:20

And so much of what I know, I believe I teach. I either learned directly from the Colonel or I learned from people I had the privilege of knowing and learning from because of who he was and what he did for the Air Force. Just a couple of examples my father's best friend or one of my father's dear friends, was shot down over Laos and ended up being in the Hanoi Hilton with John McCain.

Speaker 2: 27:06

They came home on the same transport, which is how my of knowing John McCain and I actually worked on his very first campaign for representative for Arizona.

Speaker 1: 27:23

Oh really, so that's how I got to know him. Wasn't John McCain also in the same POW camp in Vietnam as Charlie Plum? Captain Charlie Plum, yes, okay, yes, all right.

Speaker 2: 27:34

Yeah. So also when I was in junior high school, my father was the division chief for the flight dynamics laboratory at Wright-Patterson and they had a take your child to work day, yeah. So I went with daddy to work Nice and there was a visiting officer there who was visiting to consult with my father from the Washington School of War. I was not aware that there was a Washington School of War.

Speaker 1: 28:08

You didn't know that, right, we talk about it like all the time, all the time.

Speaker 2: 28:12

Yeah, so he happened to be there to consult with my father on the same day that I happened to be there. So I sat at lunch with Daddy on one side and on the other was, at that point, lieutenant Colonel Colin Powell.

Speaker 3: 28:28

Oh.

Speaker 2: 28:29

And he asked me questions about me and my life and what I enjoyed and what I loved, and he listened like it really mattered to him and talk about being significant and making someone, a little girl, feel significant and I was certain certain we were going to be best friends for life.

Speaker 1: 28:55

Mm-hmm, you and Colin yeah.

Speaker 2: 29:00

I had the privilege. Of course, I never had the opportunity to be in his presence again, okay, but because we were besties, I followed everything about him Totally. And read everything he's ever written and have learned from him.

Speaker 1: 29:14

Awesome.

Speaker 2: 29:15

Now I've learned from other people as well. You can't study leadership and not learn from John C Maxwell.

Speaker 3: 29:21

Sure.

Speaker 2: 29:23

And I've learned a lot from Mary Kay Ash from the years that I spent in Mary Kay, but it started with dad and the book series oh segue.

Speaker 1: 29:35

Yeah, here we go, let's jump into the book. By the way, those are some serious names you just dropped McCain, powell. I'm excited to see who else is going to pop up here Elton John.

Speaker 2: 29:46

Yes, I learned leadership lessons. And then Brad Pitt popped in and was like let me tell you about significance. I learned the Broadway show tunes from Elton. Okay the book, yeah the book series.

Speaker 1: 29:55

Let's talk about the new, because you have a new book. I do, but before we do that, okay, you have a thousand books. I think you've written right, I know Something like that.

Speaker 2: 30:01

The new one is number four, okay, Four, number two and number three are a called Kernels of Wisdom.

Speaker 3: 30:10

Okay.

Speaker 2: 30:10

And every day, on all of my social media channels and everything I drop, a daily Kernel of Wisdom.

Speaker 1: 30:16

That's such a brilliant name. Thank you, c-o-l-o-n-e-l.

Speaker 3: 30:20

Kernel of Wisdom.

Speaker 2: 30:20

Yes, that's so great.

Speaker 1: 30:22

I love wordplay like that. I'm a sucker for it.

Speaker 2: 30:25

You know, and when the brand came together, it all fell in place like that. I was like this is perfect. It's entirely who I am. Oh, totally as a human being. That's great. So, Colonels of Wisdom, the two books are quotes from my dad. Okay, and then I flesh it out.

Speaker 1: 30:44

The titles of the books are quotes from your dad. Is that what you?

Speaker 2: 30:47

mean oh, the whole book, the whole book, oh, the whole book.

Speaker 1: 30:49

Wow, that's a lot of quotes to fill up a book.

Speaker 2: 30:52

Well, each book has 52.

Speaker 1: 30:54

Okay.

Speaker 2: 30:54

And I did that intentionally.

Speaker 1: 30:56

Still a lot.

Speaker 2: 30:57

So that you could, if you chose, use it as a study once a week for a year. So there's a quote from my dad and then I flesh it out. What's the story behind the quote? What did it mean to me? What might it mean to you and your business? Volume one is on leadership and volume two is on significance. Volume three coming soon will be on accountability and personal ownership. Nice, so I quote my dad all the time.

Speaker 1: 31:35

Which makes me wonder is every colonel this wise? You know what I mean that they could basically have someone write a book off the things they say? I mean, I know he's a military colonel.

Speaker 2: 31:45

He was a very human human being. Lots of people are like oh, your father was amazing. Yes, he was amazing, he was a great, he was a human being.

Speaker 3: 31:53

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 31:53

But enough of what was really good about him stuck with me.

Speaker 3: 31:59

Okay.

Speaker 2: 32:00

So and the two that I that have defined who I am as a human being, the two quotes is the significance quote Anyone can be successful.

Speaker 3: 32:11

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 32:13

Choose to be significant, and the other one has forged my belief in treating all people with respect. Whether or not I like what you think, say or do, I don't have to respect you. I do have to treat you with respect, because dad used to say you don't have to respect everyone. Lauren Ann, you have no right to disrespect anyone young lady. Wow.

Speaker 1: 32:39

Yeah, that's awesome. Do you think that your father actively knew he was imparting this wisdom? In a way that was going to grow your character. It was just like what came out of him.

Speaker 2: 32:52

I think growing our character was important to him.

Speaker 3: 32:55

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 32:56

He had no idea that I would take it and blossom with it.

Speaker 3: 33:01

Sure.

Speaker 2: 33:03

As a matter of fact, I think, in hindsight, I think he would be just a little embarrassed by the way I have grown.

Speaker 1: 33:11

Put that on display.

Speaker 2: 33:12

Yeah, I want to say the way I've used him Right, right, right. Yeah, He'd have been like oh, this is ridiculous, Lauren Ann.

Speaker 1: 33:18

But ultimately I would imagine now that him, knowing the impact that it's having on people it's having which is why you're doing so well with speaking and writing that it's like I think if he saw the significance it was making, he would probably change his mind and say oh yeah, that's good. I'm glad you're using it. You know, I'm glad it's making a difference for people, because that's the kind of person he was. He would like that that's happening.

Speaker 2: 33:41

Yeah, you know. So that's great. He liked making a difference for people.

Speaker 1: 33:46

Yeah, way to take it and run with it. That's amazing. You know that you just have all this. I think A lot of us do sometimes have more wisdom that's been imparted to us or life experiences that we don't know. We can use this to leverage our relationships and help other people, or you can just use ourselves. We forget the awesome things we've learned, so that's good. Anything else about the new book? The new book Do you want to tell us?

Speaker 2: 34:09

Yeah yeah, this one came out not quite a year ago.

Speaker 3: 34:12

Okay.

Speaker 2: 34:12

And it is based on my nine essentials of significant leadership, which is the platform that I have. I've taken everything that I've ever taught about leadership and steeped it into nine core essentials that are a 40,000 foot view of significant leadership.

Speaker 3: 34:32

Okay.

Speaker 2: 34:35

And my experience has shown me, Is that purpose?

Speaker 1: 34:38

the Air Force thing, the look down on it, is that purposeful? I'm just curious because I know how you're clever, so I'm thinking the 40,000 foot view, you know.

Speaker 2: 34:48

Well boy, I wish I could say yes it is now.

Speaker 1: 34:53

It is now, it is now.

Speaker 2: 34:55

No, it's just that some people will look at the nine essentials and say, well, that's pretty simple.

Speaker 3: 35:01

Okay.

Speaker 2: 35:02

And it could be.

Speaker 3: 35:02

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 35:03

But my experience has shown me that the day-to-day deliverables of leadership these are going to be increased productivity, profitability, increased customer service, market share, employee engagement, reduced attrition. All of those will fall in line, naturally, if the leader functions. Everything they do through the lens of the nine essentials, okay, through the lens of the nine essentials, okay, and so the book is basically my nine essentials in a book form. So part one of, and the other thing that I love about this book is the title and the latest book is called Help Others Grow First.

Speaker 2: 35:57

How Smart Leaders Attract and Retain Great Employees. And that came about because I have a colleague in the NSA circle. And during one of his sessions at Winter Conference he challenged the audience to decide what we wanted written on our epitaph and you know, he gave us like 10 minutes to figure it out and I didn't need the 10 minutes because I knew what it was immediately. And that was help others grow first, because when we are significant, our success follows, so if I'm helping others, and that concept is not original.

Speaker 2: 36:53

I think it was Zig Ziglar that said if you help enough people achieve what you want out of life, you will achieve what you want out of life. So that's the title of the book Help Others Grow First. How Smart Leaders Attract and Retain Great Employees. So part one highlights the problem of the revolving door syndrome that is happening pretty consistently since the pandemic. Part two is the nine essentials and how they relate to fixing that problem. And then part three is a case study of a corporation that I have worked for that shall rename nameless, because my consulting clients always remain nameless. But the nine essentials are working for him. I'm working well for him.

Speaker 3: 37:37

Yeah, nice.

Speaker 2: 37:38

And so that's what that book is.

Speaker 1: 37:41

And would it make sense now to give us the nine essentials Like, is it too much to?

Speaker 2: 37:44

just— oh, what you want to know what they are.

Speaker 1: 37:46

No, yeah, I mean, do you just—I mean I'm like, oh, let's hear them, let's know what they are.

Speaker 2: 37:50

Yeah, no, they're actually very simple, very simple, okay, Essential number one is understand your own value. Okay, I cannot treat other people with respect if I don't respect myself. Number two is treat all people with respect. I don't have to respect you. There's a difference between respect for and respect to, so respect to all people. Treat all people with respect.

Speaker 3: 38:14

Okay.

Speaker 2: 38:18

Number three is act with integrity at all times. Number four is open your mind to new possibilities.

Speaker 1: 38:25

And this is where we are the Possibility Mindset Podcast.

Speaker 2: 38:28

There you go, here it is, we're on brand Nice. A closed mind cannot grow and a closed mind cannot lead, and a closed mind cannot lead.

Speaker 2: 38:38

Number five cast a vision. But for significant leaders, because casting a vision is kind of leadership 101 stuff. But for significant leaders it goes so much deeper than that, Because I can create a vision for the company, but if it's not resonating with people who I'm leading in that company, it's a flat vision. So a significant leader has to figure out what that vision is going to look like for each individual person. What's it going to look like, feel like, smell like, be like when we together get where we're going?

Speaker 1: 39:17

I like that. Why does it matter to you? What's the name of that one?

Speaker 2: 39:21

Cast a vision.

Speaker 1: 39:22

Cast a vision. That's good. That's number five, I like that because everyone is different, right? It's got to be almost like customized to each person. Yes, yeah.

Speaker 2: 39:30

Essential number six communicate respectfully, and respectful communication is a higher standard than assertive communication.

Speaker 1: 39:40

Okay, say that one more time Assertive. And the other one was Respectful, respectful.

Speaker 2: 39:46

What's the difference? So I again. My experience has shown me that respectful communication, by its very nature, is assertive.

Speaker 1: 39:56

Okay, not all assertive communication is A calm.

Speaker 2: 39:58

nature is assertive.

Speaker 1: 39:58

Okay, not all assertive communication is A calm, healthy assertive right?

Speaker 2: 40:01

Yes, yeah, but not all assertive communication is necessarily respectful.

Speaker 1: 40:04

Yeah, that makes sense.

Speaker 2: 40:05

So one of the things that is the core to what I teach is our objective as communicators. My objective as a communicator is, first, all people feel safe and treated with respect in my presence. So that's physically safe, emotionally safe, intellectually safe and treated with respect in my presence. Because if I don't feel safe or I feel disrespected, I'm not really anxious to have a conversation with you.

Speaker 1: 40:37

Sure.

Speaker 2: 40:37

So that's got to be number one.

Speaker 1: 40:39

Number two. I can see why this helps support that whole how smart leaders attract and retain great employees. This communication, part of it's huge, it's huge Right. It's the first thing they know is how do they communicate here?

Speaker 2: 40:49

Yeah, so if the nine essentials were to be like in a circle, it's like the core.

Speaker 3: 40:56

Sure Number six is the core Totally.

Speaker 2: 40:58

I'm feeling that so all people feel safe and treated with respect in my presence while I stand my own ground and. I get my message across.

Speaker 3: 41:05

Okay.

Speaker 2: 41:07

And it's a little backward from the way most people teach communication.

Speaker 3: 41:11

Okay.

Speaker 2: 41:12

Because most people well-beloved and respected colleagues will tell you that the most important thing is to be clear to be understood.

Speaker 2: 41:20

I've encountered a great many people that are very clear in their communication and they leave dead bodies behind them as they do business. That's why I have to approach it from the way I do so. Number six communicate respectfully, yeah. Number seven lead by example. Again, seemingly leadership 101 material. There are three ways to lead, three and only three. By example day everywhere and all things. Because your employees, your team, is watching you all the time. They're watching you when they run into you in the grocery store to see how you're treating the cashier or the bus person at the restaurant. They're watching you to see where that candy wrapper drops out of your hand Is it on the sidewalk or is it in?

Speaker 2: 42:19

the rubbish bin. They're watching you all the time. You have to lead by example. It's an incredibly. When you really think about it, it's an incredibly high standard, oh yeah, I think about that all the time.

Speaker 1: 42:32

I think about even in my home. I don't always know when there's a kid in the next room, you know, and so it's like, oh, and I hate that. That motivates Because there's.

Speaker 2: 42:40

In your home there's always a kid in the next room.

Speaker 1: 42:41

I know there's always someone somewhere, but I would hope that my faith would be the thing that really gives me the best motivator for being on my best behavior and living in a way of integrity all the time. But you know I'm human the time. But you know I'm human, I'm sinful, I have thoughts and I'll say things, and things that aren't you know necessarily always things I'm proud of you know. So, like I always think, okay, who's watching? There's cameras, so be careful, there's kids. Or when you're giving a keynote and you're in a hotel where all the other attendees are, okay, best behavior. And it's like man, I want to go back further and think always, even when I'm alone, what am I thinking, what am I saying to myself out loud, what are my thoughts, so that I don't have to worry about who's watching, because that's who I am. So then it's kind of like that If you just are a person of integrity, then you will lead by example, because it's just going to come out of you.

Speaker 2: 43:33

And for us and, I believe, for significant leaders. But I'm not because you and I are both people of faith and so to say, there's no one watching. Well, there's always someone watching. And even if someone doesn't believe in a higher power as we do, their own, subconscious is watching. There's always someone watching. So lead by example at all times.

Speaker 1: 44:03

Number where am I? Eight?

Speaker 2: 44:06

Number eight is celebrate the results of others.

Speaker 3: 44:09

Oh, okay.

Speaker 2: 44:10

Significant leaders do not look for accolades.

Speaker 1: 44:13

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 44:14

They look to give accolades.

Speaker 1: 44:16

Wow, which is one big way to help others grow first, right, exactly.

Speaker 2: 44:22

And number nine is work for your replacement.

Speaker 3: 44:27

As leaders.

Speaker 2: 44:27

Our number one responsibility is to replace ourselves, and that's where significant leadership varies from servant leadership. Servant leadership is a tremendous standard, but, at its heart, servant leadership doesn't ask for anything in return, which is noble. Significant leadership does. Significant leadership asks, and more so expects, that this that I breathe into you, you will take and breathe into others. I am replacing myself with other significant leaders, who will replace themselves with significant leaders and before we know it, like ripples in a pond, the world is populated with significant leaders.

Speaker 1: 45:17

Pay it forward.

Speaker 2: 45:18

Yep, work for your replacement.

Speaker 1: 45:20

Oh, that's so great. I love this. This is all. I can see why your audience is and why your buyers are going. Our people need this. I mean, this can completely transform a culture. Right, by the way, if you're one of those people out there looking for speakers, now you know why people use Lauren, so, of course, her website and everything will be linked in the show notes. Check her out, give her a call, bring her in, because these are the lessons that she teaches. Significance is her hottest topic right now. Who doesn't want to attract and retain greater quality talent these days Harder now than it's ever been? And you can help them with that. I will tell you that as we start to close here.

Speaker 1: 45:55

Lauren, just the title of your book, just that first part Help Others Grow First resonates with me deeply. I just shared this with someone over coffee two days ago. There's a verse, a Bible verse, something about loving your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. Well, my competitors are not my enemies, but if I were to apply that whole love others and pray for them then I would be doing that for my competitors, and where I'm going with this is like I used to be afraid of my clients knowing about my competitors, like, don't know about them because you want to hire only me. You know I can talk about anything and next year bring me back and I'll think of something else to talk about, because I want your money and I want to keep getting booked and I didn't want them to.

Speaker 1: 46:41

This was true when I was a magician and when I became a speaker. This is kind of like a when I lacked maturity and didn't understand about helping others grow first, and what I've learned over time is it's that whole concept of light someone else's candle. It takes nothing away from yours. And if I start to champion you and Joel Goldberg and Cam Awesome and Mark Mayfield all of our NSA friends that are speakers if I start to champion them, pray for them, and then it's kind of like that, then I'm having significance because I'm helping them. I'm connecting people to people who need them. It's like, hey, go to Lauren, she talks about this. I'm connecting people to people who need them. You know it's like, hey, go to Lauren, she talks about this. I don't necessarily talk specifically about these. You know specifics of significance and she does, and so for me, the podcast has been a healthy way for me to like champion other people and get out of the way of myself and not worry about Devin Devin.

Speaker 1: 47:33

Devin Devin you know, and so that's why your book I'm like but I'm growing. There's still sometimes that fear factor in me that wants to protect my brand and my business and my checkbook, and you know what I mean. But it's like when I release that and just give it over to God and pray for people and champion them. Like this, like your book talks about, I live more free, I'm living with more fulfillment, more joy, and guess what? I can feel that I'm living with more significance.

Speaker 2: 48:03

Yeah, and that growth it comes with time, because I used to be exactly the same way, and it also comes with hyper-focus on knowing who you are, what your strengths are and and what, um I present. That is different and better than anyone else. And and you know we were talking about that over breakfast Um and I've. I've gotten to a point and this has come out of my mouth a couple of times. The first time it was like, but now I'm much more comfortable with it and I've said to clients so let's talk about leadership training for your emerging leaders.

Speaker 2: 48:45

If you are looking for someone for leadership training, for someone to guide you through the strategic path of where your company is going over the next five to seven years, I know somebody who does that that's better than I am and I will refer you. If, in your mind, leadership training is someone to walk you through where to move the financial pieces on your puzzle for best sustainability and profit, I know somebody that's better at that than I am and I can refer you. But if you're looking for someone to train your leaders on how to relate to, communicate and inspire the people they lead for a greater corporate culture, boy, I think there are very few people that are better at that than I am, and it took me a while to be able to say that, but I sincerely believe that.

Speaker 3: 49:41

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 49:42

And that's about knowing each other's strengths.

Speaker 3: 49:46

For sure yeah.

Speaker 2: 49:48

And referring the best possible opportunity to my clients.

Speaker 1: 49:54

For sure, awesome. Can they get your book through the website? They can, okay, awesome. So that's the newest book. Help Others Grow First.

Speaker 2: 50:01

They can get all of them.

Speaker 1: 50:02

Again, all of them on there. You can do the whole saga, the whole Lauren Schieffer saga.

Speaker 2: 50:06

And they're also available on Amazon.

Speaker 1: 50:08

Okay, get them on Amazon too. Okay, perfect, okay, awesome, that's so great, hey, thanks for being here today, thank you for having me.

Speaker 2: 50:14

This has been so much fun.

Speaker 1: 50:15

Yeah, I do have one ultimate last question for you that we'll get to in one second. First, let's just thank Etcetera one more time, woohoo.

Speaker 2: 50:22

Great food For being amazing.

Speaker 1: 50:24

I was going to see if their logo was on. It's on neither one of our cups, that's okay. Thank you, etcetera, shawnee, for the breakfast and for the space, and, and also remember mudwatercom, slash dev. And if you want to join me on this mudwater journey of no coffee and seeing if less caffeine can significantly improve the quality of your life, all right. Last question you ready for it? I think you're the perfect person to ask this to. I ask it to every guest. Just, could you please give one piece of advice to my daughters?

Speaker 2: 50:59

Yeah, don't worry about what other people think of you, because what other people think of you is really none of your business. You need to walk in who you are as a human being, do yourself. You need to walk in who you are as a human being. Do yourself and your parents and your Lord proud. When my kids were little anytime I dropped them off somewhere and they hated it. But I would say make good choices and remember whose child you are. And I had someone say to me once oh, because you don't want her to make you look bad. I said it's not about me at all. She's a child of the king.

Speaker 3: 51:52

She's a child of the king.

Speaker 2: 51:55

So if your daughters make good choices and remember whose child they are, then they won't have to worry about what other people say about them, and they'll be fine, that's great, thank you. You're welcome.

Speaker 1: 52:12

I really love the part about don't worry what other people think about you. That's none of your business, it's none of your business. That's huge, because I'm a very vain, prideful person who even in my early to mid-40s still is consumed with what people think of me, and I think that's part of the entertainer in me, oh the fact that I say it doesn't mean I've mastered it and so I'm like, wow, that hits me just as hard as it could my kids right now.

Speaker 1: 52:39

That's none of my business, don't worry about what they think about me. That doesn't mean it's like I don't care about nothing. You know I'm going to be rude. That's not the whole motivation. It's just like remember whose child you are. If you remember that, then they can think what they want. It's none of your business. That's empowering. Thank you for that. That's great. You're welcome. Okay, awesome. We're going to wrap it up now with the phrase that is a question you always ask when you embrace the possibility mindset, which is what else is possible? So we're going to team up and ask it. I'm going to say what else you say is possible Sound good? Okay, all right, and remember to never, ever stop asking the question what else is possible? See you next time.