#31 Dream, Feel, Do with Keynote Speaker Mary Messner

What could you accomplish if you granted yourself permission to dream, feel and do something bigger than ever before?

In this outside the box new episode of The Possibility Mindset Podcast, Devin sits down with keynote speaker Mary Messner, a former healthcare exec turned trailblazing free thinker who challenges you to create something unexpected.

Business leaders, big dreamers and everyone in between will find takeaways in this thought-provoking discussion on breaking convention, accelerating productivity and architecting a mindset that fosters endless possibilities.

It’s the mindset shift you need to build the life you want, no matter what field sparks your creativity. Available now, wherever you get your podcasts.
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Guest website: https://www.marymessner.com
MUDWTR: https://www.mudwtr.com/devin

For the full experience, check us out on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DevinHendersonSpeaker 

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:04

Hello everybody, welcome to the Possibility Mindset Podcast. I'm Devin Henderson, I am your host and I believe that something greater is always possible for you, and I am joined today by Mary Messner. Is it Messner or Mesner? How do you?

Speaker 2: 0:22

It is Messner it is Messner my parents still say Mesner. But it is Messner, you can't get them to change, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1: 0:28

His parents sometimes get stuck in that way where it's like, come on, mom and dad, but whatever, now it's endearing right.

Speaker 1: 0:35

Sure You're like sure, but no, um, that's funny. Well, hey, I have to say I we've had. This is the first time we've had two guests in one day. That's the illusion. I'm wearing the same garb two weeks in a row. So this is. I don't know why I'm pointing that out, other than the fact that you know it's good, like time management. You know when you can lump things together. I guess that's the golden nugget here.

Speaker 2: 0:58

I like it.

Speaker 1: 0:59

It's a good one. I'm glad you like it. That's cool. We want to say thank you to Etcetera Shawnee for hosting us and just for the wonderful coffee and the creamer and the water is incredible around here, Am I right? I mean?

Speaker 2: 1:12

they're ice. So anyway, I can't say enough good things about Etcetera and their liquids.

Speaker 1: 1:17

So seriously, we appreciate you. I also want to talk real quick about Mudwater. I see you're a coffee drinker. I am to talk real quick about mud water. I see you're a coffee drinker, that's great, and so I've been a big coffee drinker for years. Today I'm 199 days off coffee. Got my mud water here, which is what I want to tell the guests about.

Speaker 1: 1:34

A lot of you know, if you've been following, mudwatercom slash Devin is where you want to go. The link is in the show notes. That's mud and then water with no vowels. Wtrcom slash Devin. 35 milligrams of caffeine in this thing. So I can have like about three of these and it'll be about the same amount as coffee. So the whole point is to see if this nutrient-infused drink is going to help me gain more clarity, more focus, help me sleep better, get my energy back. It's mushroom-based. It's also got cacao for taste. I Um, I put honey in mine. It's absolutely. It tastes like hot chocolate in the morning. Uh, so anyway, try it. If you're kind of on the am I drinking too much coffee type of type of space. Join me on the mud water journey. Let's just see if it makes a difference. My goal, I've decided just in this second, is one year. I'm past the. I'm past the half year mark, so we'll see what happens.

Speaker 1: 2:24

Thank you, mary Messner. I appreciate that You're welcome. How'd I do? Is that all right? Yeah, it's perfect. Okay, cool, so try Mudwater.

Speaker 1: 2:31

Check out the link in the show notes. We'll see if that works also for you. All right, I feel like, since this is my, that I'm just like I know what to do, I know what to say, which is probably surprising, because you're probably going. What is this guy even talking about? Not at all. So, anyway, watch the full experience on YouTube and subscribe on YouTube. Give us a thumbs up, share this link with people who you know Mary is going to benefit and, yeah, give us a five-star review on Apple and comment. That'll help us extend our reach, and we appreciate you for all the purchases you've made through our affiliate links. Listeners. Thank you so much, and thank you to Ashley and Zach for helping out too. Zach's behind the camera. Ashley is behind the scenes as our new podcast producer, so really appreciate her. Okay, mary, now that all that is sort of like a set, we get to like focus on Mary. All right, so let's do this. You're ready for your introduction?

Speaker 2: 3:27

Absolutely.

Speaker 1: 3:28

You get an introduction like this when you're speaking. Is this the same intro we use when you're speaking, or is this the podcast intro?

Speaker 2: 3:34

It's probably similar, depending on the audience I highlight some stuff and downplay others.

Speaker 1: 3:39

Yeah, because you're not exactly speaking today. It's like we're talking more about you.

Speaker 1: 3:43

Yeah, we're friends. We're friends, that's right, we're chit-chatting, we don't even really need the intro, but we're going to. We're going to because she deserves it. All right, so here we go. Today, I am joined by a trailblazing free thinker I love that who challenges you to create something unexpected. Her name is Mary Messner, as we now all know, the former healthcare exec turned keynote speaker, in tireless defiance of the status quo. Watch out, I love this. This is amazing. With bold ideas and a little bit of fire, she ignites a creativity that turns inspiration into action. And by asking what if that's great? I asked the question what else is possible? You asked what if Same idea. She moves audiences towards possibilities. They always have the power to achieve. That's interesting, right. They've had this power always within them. I love that and unlocks the confidence needed to pursue them. So here she is. Everybody, my new found friend, mary Messner. Hey, hey, what's up? How are you Good.

Speaker 1: 4:43

This is our first time actually meeting in person we got connected on LinkedIn, I don't know, a few months ago, uh, through a mutual friend, frank Keck. Frank, what's up, my man, um, and so that. And so when you said, hey, I met Frank and Frank said that you two need to connect. It was like, well, if Frank tells you to connect with somebody, you darn right better connect with them, because there's a good reason for it.

Speaker 2: 5:06

Yeah, no, he's, he's great and it was. It was one of those nice things. I think that's the beauty of something like LinkedIn. He said do you want me to make the introduction? And I said, no, I'll just, I'll reach out. You were receptive and that was great.

Speaker 1: 5:17

You're a pro.

Speaker 2: 5:18

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1: 5:20

Frank I, you joined the National Speaker Association. Are you familiar?

Speaker 2: 5:24

Oh, I'm familiar. I have not, and I have attended as a guest some of the local events. It is probably something that is maybe on my future to-do list. I'll continue exploring. Are you a member?

Speaker 1: 5:40

It's complicated, mary. It's a great organization For me as, of late, I've never really been able to invest at the local level just because of you know other priorities which we'll talk about. But then at the national level, I was, I got my CSP, I was, I went every year and then, after like 2020, you know, not a coincidence of timing it was just kind of like I just I'm quick, going to national after that.

Speaker 1: 6:03

So, not that there's not value there, but just like I don't know it, just it's kind of weird how life just kind of changes. So so we'll talk later about that. So, um, but anyway. So my first time going I was in a comp competition called so you think you can speak. It was for, like, new members and so it was like all people who had been in NSA, I think less than three years, were in a competition kind of like so you think you can dance, but so you think you can speak?

Speaker 2: 6:26

Was this local or at the national? This was at the national level.

Speaker 1: 6:28

Yeah, and so I got chosen from our chapter to be in the competition and so when I got there, I think I was like the top 10, because they sent one from every chapter, so it was an honor to even be top 10. Well, I ended up placing in the top three. They only gave first place to to Alison Massari, who was awesome, and they didn't really give second and third place. They just said you two are after her. So we were like, okay, we're tied for second. Then you know, I guess that's how we'll look at that, but Frank helped me prepare for that he took me to his church and he said get up on the stage and do your three minutes.

Speaker 1: 6:59

You know cause I was going to do two three minute segments in the competition. He just sat there and then just gave me feedback about and really helped me with it, and then he also, when I wrote a mini book, read the whole mini book and gave me his thoughts. So what I'm trying to say is that like we have a really solid mutual friend here in Frank Keck who was willing to, like, go out of his way to help people, and just an incredible guy.

Speaker 2: 7:19

So, yeah, that's awesome, you know, that's more than I knew about Frank going into this too, so I have even more admiration for him. So that's pretty cool.

Speaker 1: 7:27

There you go, so, mary. So I mean, let's talk. This is our first time meeting, and so I'm super curious to know about what you speak on. I mean, I'd love to hear backstory too, if we're able to get there. But what are you doing right now? What's the keynote speaking space look like for you and what are you doing for audiences?

Speaker 2: 7:46

Well, I will say that the heart. I love that. You talk about possibilities, asking what if the heart of what I speak on is this idea of creating the unexpected? And I use that phrase because I do believe that if we give ourselves permission to dream really big, there are things that we can't even see in front of us today. So you talk about possibilities. I talk about the unexpected, and the heart of it is a model I call dream, feel, do and I created that dream.

Speaker 1: 8:18

feel do I'll walk you through it. I like that. I liked it.

Speaker 2: 8:22

I created it by studying what I've done, and I'll give you a great example. I've always taken jobs that I had no idea how to do them but they sounded interesting.

Speaker 2: 8:32

They sounded like a challenge, so I started them with a bit of a dream. What if this could be something successful? What if I could achieve something that I didn't see possible in front of me today? And that and I'll differentiate something here differentiate something between dreaming and goal setting. Dreaming is something that you actually don't know how to do. It's something that feels a little bit out of reach and causes you to stretch Goals.

Speaker 2: 9:02

On the other hand, you're like, yep, okay, I got my five-step action plan that's going to get to my goal. They're more tangible and I believe those two are both important. But without the dream, the goals just kind of become a task list that causes you to navigate day to day.

Speaker 2: 9:19

The feel part is probably the most important in all of this. So let's say, you name your dream and I'll use myself as an example. I'll throw the dream out there that I want to be a highly sought-after keynote speaker, and in my own journaling there's a lot more details behind that. But we'll start with that one. That only works if I know the feeling that I'm going after. If I were to say okay, I'm now a highly sought after speaker. What does that feel like?

Speaker 1: 9:54

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2: 9:55

And to me it's an important dream because that feels like ownership, that feels like impact, and when I say impact, I'll define that further, the first one being that it's an opportunity to reach more people with this message that we're talking about here, but the second one.

Speaker 2: 10:13

For me personally, it's an opportunity for me to then control my own time and my funds, to be able to decide how to put that back into the community. The people I work with invest in others, so impact is an important part of this. If I were to go down that path of achieving that dream and the feeling led to chaos or business or overwhelm, then I'm not going after the dream in the right way.

Speaker 1: 10:44

Now does the feeling happen in your imagination, before the fact, or as you're starting to pursue? Okay, so you're imagining okay, okay, got it, got it, yeah.

Speaker 2: 10:52

Yeah, but it's a great way to keep yourself in check.

Speaker 2: 10:54

So, if that, if that feeling starts going off the rails and it's time to recenter yourself, revisit your dream, remind yourself of your priorities. Yeah, so when when I think about this in in a workplace, it's the same type of question. When I think about this in a workplace, it's the same type of question Go into a corporation and to be able to say to them what's your dream? Oftentimes they say, well, we want to achieve this amount in revenue, this amount in profitability, and stop the conversation there and say, OK, think beyond that. What is something that you actually don't know how to achieve? So it simply could be. We want to be the number one. Let's use Chick-fil-A as an example, we'll go to Chick-fil-A.

Speaker 1: 11:34

You're speaking my love language, because my daughter worked there for three years. Oh really, and we just talked about. Drew Severance the operator and owner-operator and Will Severance shout out again was on the podcast in the past.

Speaker 2: 11:45

Anyway, okay. So great example, Perfect Okay. So I'll pick Chick-fil-A, because I think everybody understands that. So you go to Chick-fil-A and you pull into the drive-thru and what happens?

Speaker 1: 11:55

There's, like kids, children out there with iPads being like we're not going to make your day better.

Speaker 2: 12:00

Yeah, safety vests and iPads and they're like all over the place. They are like ants. Yes, in a good way. Yes, but you go to every other fast food restaurant and that's not there.

Speaker 1: 12:11

Right, right.

Speaker 2: 12:12

So I don't. I have not spoken with anybody from Chick-fil-A, so I'm going to put some words in their mouth here, maybe out of turn All right, let's do it.

Speaker 1: 12:28

But I'm going to assume at some point they said we want to be the most efficient drive.

Speaker 2: 12:30

Drive through that. Any of our customers have experienced how to do that, no idea.

Speaker 1: 12:35

The second part would be how do you want customers to feel going through that experience? So it's not always about how you feel about. It's about how the people you serve it could be the people you serve. In the workplace.

Speaker 2: 12:40

I think oftentimes it's the people that you serve, the employees that work for you, the consumers that continue to come back again and again, because there is a feeling that they get interacting with you. When you're doing your own dream, it's definitely internal. So when I'm speaking to audiences, I'm talking about encouraging the dream and then the feeling, for whoever it is, that they want to accomplish or to accompany that dream. Okay, okay, and I'll also acknowledge that that message isn't for everyone. There are people that are like no, no, like profitability, that's okay. That's what I'm focused on, which feels good, which feels good, but there are people at the, at a company or customers that that do want something bigger.

Speaker 2: 13:27

And so even if you're not doing it for yourself in the workplace, do it for the team of people that you work with or those that you serve. The last part of the framework is do so. When you say dream feel do Okay and I bring that one up because I'd mentioned dreams are something that you don't actually know how to do, right when you start down the path of achieving those.

Speaker 2: 13:51

If you've created this culture in the workplace that allows for limitless possibilities, for thinking big, for working outside of the quote unquote box and just challenging the current state. Yeah, the things that can come from that, the things that you go do to achieve the dream, they already know. People know how to do that. You just have to give them the freedom to get there, and it was what you said in the intro. Like we, we can figure out how to get there. If we turn off the limitations, if we open ourselves up to the possibilities. Yeah, so that's. That's, in a nutshell, what I speak on.

Speaker 1: 14:33

That's so great. Well, it sounds like our messages are very similar and you know you talk about the dream, how it's different from goals. Now I've kind of um use the phrase seemingly impossible goal, which implies that if you know how to do it, it's not achievable. You know my friend Mark camp calls the same thing we're talking about here his bud big, unreasonable dream.

Speaker 1: 14:50

So it's more aligned with what you're saying, that it's like this. If it's not, if you know how you're going to do it, it's not big enough, right? If people, if you're not confusing people and making them say what it's not big enough, right? You want people to think you're crazy for dreaming this big? Yes, um, so many, so much good research and so many good books support this. Like 10 X is easier than two X. Some of these books are just like incredible that, like Mr Beast, what he did in five years went from a guy and his mom's I don't know, you know house to like famous YouTuber and you know, uh, just like five years, and so that's, that's awesome. So, so that's great. Uh, dream, feel, do that is.

Speaker 1: 15:31

That is a great nugget, you know. So what listeners? Let us know. You know if you're in comments or if you're seeing a bit of this on YouTube, let us know. How are you? How are you dreaming feeling, doing just curious? So so then for you, what does that look like in your life right now? Dreaming feeling, doing for Mary Messner? Obviously there's this keynote speaking thing, but from what it sounds like you're involved in a lot of things, right. So what? What all is going on in your life right now where you can apply this concept?

Speaker 2: 15:56

Well, the first one and you and I spoke about this a little bit is this keynote speaking journey for me started at the end of 2021, just starting a business and saying yes to a lot of things, really not knowing the path, not knowing what the right steps are to take to get to this longer term dream.

Speaker 2: 16:20

So saying yes to a lot, exploring a lot of different business opportunities, if you will, things that kind of helped paid the bills as you're navigating this new journey and throughout all of that, the feeling piece of it is probably when that came to life more because I would go and do a coaching session. So I do some coaching and walk out of that and ask myself did that give me energy or did that take energy? And sometimes it gave me energy. Sometimes I walked out feeling really, really good and other times I walked out feeling like I, there was an impact that I was trying to make that I wasn't quite getting through, and so, as a result, I still do some coaching, but I've dialed that back significantly. I've learned that's not an area that feeds me the way that I, that I want it to.

Speaker 1: 17:17

Wow, so that feel thing really served you.

Speaker 2: 17:19

Oh big time.

Speaker 1: 17:20

Yeah, yeah, that's, that's legit.

Speaker 2: 17:22

Big time and both going into it knowing the feeling that I wanted to accomplish and then afterwards saying did I get there? Not entirely, so it becomes a little bit more selective. So that's probably the work evolution. The other piece that I spend a lot of my energy on is with a nonprofit called Madam President, camp that is, and you'll appreciate this it is a program exclusively for middle school age girls.

Speaker 1: 17:48

Yes, Because I'm a middle school age girl. That's why Totally why it has nothing to do with daughters. No, it has nothing to do with my kids, madam President.

Speaker 2: 18:00

Camp. Madam President, Camp Okay awesome.

Speaker 1: 18:03

Yeah, tell us about this. What is that all about?

Speaker 2: 18:06

Yeah, so that is. It's an organization that started about 11 years ago. When I left my corporate America gig to start my own business. I actually started working with them in a part-time capacity as their executive director. I'd heard of them, I'd spent a little bit of time with the organization. I reached out and said I'm building a business, so, as I'm doing that, I have some time that I'd like to put some energy into. You all need an executive director. So I worked with them for a few years, part-time. Wow, the whole focus of this program is specifically middle school age girls, so 11, 12, and 13. Tough age, tough time of life.

Speaker 2: 18:41

And that's the reason. All the data says that, starting at age eight, confidence begins to dip. Girls start questioning who they are.

Speaker 1: 18:50

Yeah, what was that stat we had? That it's like, uh, their comp, maybe you're going to cover this. Their confidence drops 30% during this, from eight to 14 boys of the same age report confidence levels 27% higher. So, yeah, interesting, yeah, it's it's fascinating.

Speaker 2: 19:06

This program was started because of that type of data right and it. We focus on confidence, building confidence, but we do that through leadership development. And I say development, but I'll caveat that a little bit. What's important is having these girls understand that they already are leaders, they don't have to change who they are, and that's important, I think, for a middle school age girl, and for anyone in adulthood as well, to think that leadership looks like the loudest person in the room, the person that can command a room.

Speaker 2: 19:42

And that's one definition of leadership. But it actually takes all kinds to be able to effectively lead. So we walk the middle school girls through that, help them see themselves as leaders. But the second piece that is probably more important is bringing in the idea of civic engagement. So you're now a leader. You get to go do something with that leadership voice, create change in the community around you, whether that's a school, a church, a neighborhood, the world. You know future, Madam President, and helping them understand how to do that. What does it look like to commit to something, an area of activism, and take action towards change? That's the foundation of the program. I love it. I mentioned I was executive director for a few years. I'm now the board chair. I moved into that position last fall. We have camps kicking off here in about three weeks for the summer.

Speaker 1: 20:38

Where do they have the camps?

Speaker 2: 20:39

All over Kansas City. We partner with different locations, so some in Missouri, some in Kansas. We go to a lot of college campuses and then last year we expanded into the St Joseph Missouri community. There's a group of women up there that brought it to life there and they're doing that again this year. That's great.

Speaker 1: 20:55

Yeah, well, it really sounds like you're playing that like a dream field. Do to be like you're saying. Get out, do the civic work you know helping them feel more confident, and I'm obviously. You're making them dream big just by the title.

Speaker 2: 21:06

Madam President.

Speaker 1: 21:08

I love that. That's really cool. Now, was this partly inspired because, like me, you have only daughters? Was that part of the mix?

Speaker 2: 21:15

Well, that was part of. So. The program was started by two women here in Kansas City. One of them had daughters, has a daughter and couldn't find programming for her my involvement with them was absolutely encouraged by the fact that I have I have two daughters. They're right now seven and nine.

Speaker 1: 21:33

That oldest one is that they are, and that oldest one.

Speaker 2: 21:37

I'm seeing some of the changes the just the occasional comments that are very normal, but the shift of her paying attention to someone else's perspective, maybe more than her own perspective. And, oh, man, that's as a parent, that's a there's a piece of acceptance, because there's there's normalcy to it. And also, man, you want to let them hold on to that internal wisdom that they already have.

Speaker 1: 22:06

Those are some transformative years. Our oldest is 16. So we've got like all around that, we got 16, 14, 12, nine. So we are right in that where you're talking about and it is the way they change. It's beautiful to watch them change. The hardest part for me as a parent is watching my kids grow up, but it's also the best part you know cause I hate?

Speaker 1: 22:23

I'm like oh you know it's also the best part, you know, cause I hate. I'm like, oh, you know, it's like my babies you know what I mean Like I just love these little babies and they grow up, but it's so cool to see them grow into these awesome young women. My, my oldest, just got like an internship with our church, you know, for this summer and she's so pumped about that and I'm proud of her and, too, you know, kind of that serve and be aware of what's around you. So you can, you can make an impact, you know, you can help other people around you, be inspired to dream also. So that's amazing, Awesome, Well, and you've got like tons of I mean I don't want to glaze over Okay, you, you went to KU and it was health information management which took you into the corporate world. Yeah, and you were awarded the 2024 American Heart Association Kansas City Woman of Impact Award winner.

Speaker 2: 23:11

Congratulations. Yeah, thank you. What was that?

Speaker 1: 23:13

How did that feel? What was that all about?

Speaker 2: 23:15

Oh, that was wild In January. So I'll back up and say the last several years I've been a member of a group of women here called Circle of Red. Okay, a group of women here called Circle of Red, where we donate funds to the American Heart Association. So it's a commitment to financially support the organization, but also great opportunity. I mean, the women that are a part of this are just brilliant, so it's an opportunity to connect with some really wonderful women throughout the Kansas.

Speaker 2: 23:44

City area. In January, I received an email that said you've been nominated to be a woman of impact for American Heart.

Speaker 1: 23:51

Association and do you know who nominates you?

Speaker 2: 23:53

I called some people. I said did you? I made a couple of phone calls and said do I have you to thank? I wasn't sure at this time if that was actually going to be a thank or not.

Speaker 1: 24:04

Did you get a confession? Yeah, yeah, I figured it out.

Speaker 2: 24:08

And actually one of the women, Haley Haar, who was the winner the previous year, who's a great friend of mine.

Speaker 1: 24:14

she was one of the people, so I can blame it on her, but I can also thank her for that. Yeah, that's awesome.

Speaker 2: 24:20

And that launched a two month whirlwind fundraising campaign to raise as much funds and awareness about heart disease in women and that it became in some ways kind of a full time job. I felt like if I'm really going to focus on doing this, I need to give it all my energy and effort. And then back to the dream part. I didn't. I had never done a fundraising campaign like this before and I had to go ask hi, will you give me money? And that is uncomfortable and awkward and also a fabulous growth opportunity and experience. And the biggest lesson from that is, if you're asking for something and you are passionate about why you're asking, the ask becomes kind of no big deal. And then the other person it's up to them to say yes, I'll support that or no, I can't right now, and it's kind of like sales in general.

Speaker 1: 25:20

If you believe in what you're selling you don't feel guilty about. Ok, buy this. Yeah, you probably don't want to do it. It's like, no, this is going to make your life better or someone's life better, and you're, in this case, right. I believe in this cause, so I I, that's huge. Yeah, purpose your why? Yeah, absolutely yes.

Speaker 2: 25:37

Thank you, Simon Sinek.

Speaker 1: 25:38

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2: 25:39

Yeah, the, the, the, the willingness to stretch, to ask. I had several team members that helped me engage people around the Kansas City area. A lot of local businesses that supported us sponsors Ended up raising about $73,000 for American Heart Association in two months.

Speaker 1: 26:01

Yeah yeah, wow, two months yes.

Speaker 2: 26:04

My mom's a heart disease survivor, so it was really cool to kind of walk along her side, both through that experience of watching her struggle with heart disease, and to celebrate where she is now and know that what I was doing had a direct or has a future direct impact on the next person whether that's her again, or me or my daughters.

Speaker 1: 26:26

Yeah, yeah, Wow, that's well again. Congrats on the award. That's fine. Was there a big? Is there a big banquet for that? There was a stage and shake hands with some nobles.

Speaker 2: 26:41

Sort of yes, yeah, they, they actually they did a big luncheon. The coolest part is my daughters were able to come.

Speaker 1: 26:46

Oh, that's awesome.

Speaker 2: 26:47

Cool, you buy. You buy tables and tickets. And I asked her the team. I said can my daughters come? Can my mom bring them? Because they'd been cheering me on, they had both donated money. They'd taken money out of their bank account. Here's $10, mom. They felt invested in the process, so they got to come and I have the video footage of them and their excitement. Oh, it's just, I've watched that footage countless times and that I think you know. You go back to the idea of of impact being able to make an impact.

Speaker 2: 27:20

That's a perfect example of being having a platform in this community through my speaking engagements and through the networking that I do, to then turn around and ask that same network to support me in something that I was doing, which translates to a direct impact on something like heart disease for women. It's. There's really no better feeling than that.

Speaker 1: 27:45

Yeah, that's great. So, uh, one interesting thing I noticed about you I saw that you used to be afraid of public speaking.

Speaker 2: 27:53

Oh yeah.

Speaker 1: 27:54

So which is really common with people? And now it's like you're a keynote speaker. So was this like when you were transitioning to speaking? I know in your health care job you did some speaking already, right, so you kind of were getting used to being in front of audiences. So tell me about that fear and how you've overcome that.

Speaker 2: 28:13

And if you still deal with it. You know some, a lot of speakers still do I, oh, I, I, I. So I was a fast talker. I'm not. I'm not, I'm not a a slow. You know a speaker and I've learned to control that better, but I'd always been a fast talker, I. I remember my speech class in college, so I went to K. Did you go to KU?

Speaker 1: 28:33

I went to K state. Oh, so yeah, okay, that's why we're such good friends.

Speaker 2: 28:37

That's all right. That's all right. My husband went to MU, did he? Oh, wow, that really is awesome, which now it doesn't matter as much, but like back in the day, that was a big deal.

Speaker 1: 28:46

My wife and I met at K state but a lot of her family went to KU. Yeah, you know.

Speaker 2: 28:49

Yeah, well, it's all good, we're all friends, my speech class.

Speaker 2: 28:55

I mean, I have like a vivid memory of the first speech that I had to get up and give and I chose to speak about Parkinson's disease. My grandfather had Parkinson's, was dealing with Parkinson's at the time Chose to speak on that, thinking, oh, it's something that I know about, it'll be fine, and I got up in front of the classroom. I told this story recently to a group of third graders and I'll bring you up to speed on that too, but I thought I was going to pee my pants.

Speaker 1: 29:27

Like that's the sorry listeners.

Speaker 2: 29:31

No, yeah, that, just full honesty, that it is yeah, and I spoke so quickly and I didn't remember anything I was going to say and I was done in two minutes.

Speaker 1: 29:42

Because? Was it because I had a public speaking class? I went to Johnson County community college. I had it there. So we had to like know what we were going to say, basically script that out and then strip it down to an outline.

Speaker 2: 29:55

Had you prepared like that, but it just for some reason it was just gone, yeah, and I and I don't know why, I have no idea what brain processing was happening, but I was terrified, yeah, and I think. I think part of it is because I was trying to position myself as an expert on Parkinson's and I was not.

Speaker 1: 30:09

I had a personal experience with it, so I was trying.

Speaker 2: 30:19

I mean, I just I think I was trying to bring something to life that it wasn't the right message for me to bring, and that's I've learned now as a speaker that what you're saying is you got to feel it and and for sure, for sure, I forced many a message. Yeah, yeah, wow, I forced many a message.

Speaker 1: 30:30

Yeah, yeah, wow.

Speaker 2: 30:31

And then, yes, when I my first job out of college was over a research medical center in. Kansas City, Missouri. I was the director of health information management and I had to start giving speeches to the executive team and to the physician team.

Speaker 1: 30:49

Okay.

Speaker 2: 30:53

And I was then speaking on things that I'd become an expert on because it was my job and I knew the answers and I knew the objections that could come in, I'm like, oh, this is actually kind of cool, yeah, when you actually know it right.

Speaker 2: 31:03

Yeah, that was a stand behind a podium with a little microphone, very formal, right, right, right. But I'm like, okay, all right, this feels pretty good. Yeah, and, but I'm like, okay, all right, this feels pretty good. And then I was at Cerner Corporation for 14 years and while I was there I was certified to teach a lot of their courses, their training programs, and man, I just I really started to like it.

Speaker 2: 31:29

I liked interacting with a room full of people. I liked trying different things, different ways to say a phrase, to catch someone's attention a little bit differently. The last job that I had there the last several years was working with a team of people where we stood in front of a room and we provided education to a subset of individuals from the VA, teaching them how to use data and analytics to improve veteran outcomes. But part of that just like you mentioned, with Frank Keck and all the critiquing there was about five or six of us and we would present to a big empty room minus the five or six of us. We'd pretend like we had this full room and we deliver our content, pretend like we had this full room and we deliver our content, and it would be everything from adjusting a movement with our hands to our foot placement, to how fast or how slow or how loud or how quiet you know we were talking totally.

Speaker 2: 32:25

And I I learned to perfect it.

Speaker 1: 32:27

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 32:28

And I had a friend of mine here his name's Mike Allison pulled me aside one time and he said you're, you're one of the best I've seen. You have a career in this Nice, and that that kind of started another dream journey for me. I'm like, maybe I don't know how I would do that, that sounds scary, and but it gave me it planted, enough of that seed to say I'm going to go figure out how to do this.

Speaker 1: 32:53

Right, wow, so that's how it all started. That's how it all started, yeah.

Speaker 2: 32:57

Yeah, that was. I remember exactly where we were standing in this hallway, by the stairs, next to the bank of elevators, and he said those words and it's a pretty powerful moment.

Speaker 1: 33:09

It's funny when you can remember the moment. I remember the moment of. I mean, I remember my magical journey, but when someone first told me you should be a speaker, it was that I. It was Mr Del Foods in Kearney, missouri. One of the ladies who came up afterwards. It was a wife and one of the workers and she said you should be a speaker. It turns out she used to work for the five-star speaker bureau here in town, you know, and she goes. You need to meet with Brad Plum, one of the guys who you know owned the other bureau before they merged. Uh, I think it was called Midwest something. Uh, speakers and uh had lunch with him and uh, you know, I can remember every moment where I was Cause, when, when things like you know work really well like that, you look back. You have to remember.

Speaker 1: 33:45

I have to remember to thank those people you know I told Brad Plum thank you so much for having breakfast with me.

Speaker 2: 33:49

Yes, and pointing me in the right direction, yeah.

Speaker 1: 33:51

And thank you, mindy. Yeah, so that's awesome that you can trace that back. Oh yeah, and here you are doing it, that's amazing.

Speaker 1: 34:00

Yeah, yeah. So you know, and also in your work with Cerner, it sounds like you guys did some really cool things during, like the COVID time yeah, COVID time. Like the no standing Friday meetings. There was a bunch of other things that caught my attention too, Like no meetings before nine, from 12 to one or after four, no attendance at meetings unless your presence is critical. Um, I love that. This is my favorite part. Don't ever apologize for the kids. The noise like you cannot apologize for that, because that is like a given Cause. I'm sure you get tired. Oh sorry, I'm sorry. It's like yeah, we welcome all of it, you know.

Speaker 2: 34:34

So, that's.

Speaker 1: 34:35

I can imagine people got so tired of zoom calls, you know, you know. So back then having the awareness to set the culture and the standards for that, yes, that was key. How did that develop, make these more fun, more doable?

Speaker 2: 34:49

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 34:49

How'd that come about?

Speaker 2: 34:58

Well, I was, I was leading the team at that point and you know it's I. We all remember March 2020. Like, like there, I mean that's another one. I remember the moment in time when I went oh, this, this is, this is a thing.

Speaker 1: 35:06

I was in Branson, branson, missouri, on spring break. Yeah, oh, you were, that's when it hit you, that's that.

Speaker 2: 35:11

Yes, yes, and you know, our team was. We were struggling, but also trying. I think it was this weird time of saying, okay, this is now normal, we can do this, we're going to cheer each other on. And then there were those moments of total overwhelm, and my kids were two and four at the time and you know, and my husband was working and we're both home and I'm at the dining room table. You know the same thing that everybody can relate to.

Speaker 2: 35:44

And this I'll tie this back to Dreamfield too. I remember calling the team together and thinking, you know what, if we could architect this to where it actually worked? And you all felt okay, probably not great, because that was the nature of the situation, but you felt okay and you didn't feel as overwhelmed. What would that feel like? And we talked about that and I said I don't know, I don't know how to accomplish that, so let's brainstorm it. What's our wish list? This was that kind of big, bold idea. What's the wish list? And on top of that, how can we support each other to get there? So the team people from the team threw the ideas out there. Well, we got breakfast, going for the kids in the morning and getting set up on their computers to do school. Let's have no standing meetings before nine Cool.

Speaker 1: 36:30

So smart.

Speaker 2: 36:30

Same thing after four, same thing over the lunch hour, and, and Cerner had a very meeting heavy culture. The other big thing is we made a commitment to each other that prior to this, everybody would show up for meetings because they would say well, I really just want to understand what's happening. So I'm going to, I'm going to join the call.

Speaker 1: 36:50

Okay.

Speaker 2: 36:51

We dialed that back fully and said we are going to trust the people that join the call to make the right decision.

Speaker 1: 36:57

Okay.

Speaker 2: 36:58

And we're going to self-select out if we are not adding immediate value to the conversation. So so our, our meeting schedule dramatically decreased, wow. And then, yeah, we said Friday, we're not doing it. Let's what if this could be a four day work week? What would that feel like? And the amazing part was, for many of us it did turn into a four day work week and we actually we accelerated our timeline for some projects we were bringing to life for the VA, and we did that by imagining what was possible. What if we tried this differently, if it didn't work? It didn't work. But man, I mean COVID was a perfect example to say I'm going to try something completely unconventional and give it a shot. And I'll add in there that I don't oftentimes ask for permission. So I wasn't going to my executive leadership saying, hey, can I do this? Yeah, because at the end of the day, if it worked, it didn't matter to them how we got there.

Speaker 2: 38:00

Sure it mattered that it worked.

Speaker 1: 38:03

That's the part you were talking about earlier, about giving people freedom to figure out, because sometimes the executives don't really. If they're not in the day-to-day work and the daily grind, they can't see the solution like you can, you're closer to it, so I love that they allowed you the freedom for that, otherwise that might've never happened.

Speaker 2: 38:18

Yeah, yeah. Well, in the team I mean again it was it was my team that came up with that list of rules and they're the ones that trusted each other enough to to to make it happen.

Speaker 1: 38:29

Yeah, yeah, that's, that's great. No, I, when I read that, I got excited, like, oh, I, it's like something I mean hindsight's 2020, you know no pun intended, but it's like you, so many people could have benefited from that sort of a structure. You know cause people just got so burnt out on on all that. So that's and I think that's like the message now too, that it's like allow your people to, like, you know, be a trailblazer, like you are, and and figure out, find, help, find those solutions and collaborations key. You know, helen Keller, alone we can do so little. Together we can do so much. So I love that.

Speaker 1: 39:01

So I am curious. I am like, okay, since we just met today officially, I'm curious a little bit about the like, the backstory. You know, you went to China mission the East. I went to China mission Northwest. Backstory you went to Shina Mission East. I went to Shina Mission Northwest. But we don't have time to maybe go all the way back for you, but can you tell us what a day for Mary looks like if you had nothing to do, no obligations? How do you recharge and maybe even boost your creativity? What kind of things do you do to get into the best headspace? Oh, my goodness, this is where I'm going to sound like a total nerd.

Speaker 2: 39:32

What kind of things do you do to to get into the best headspace? Oh, my goodness, this is what I'm going to sound like a total nerd.

Speaker 1: 39:35

No, let's have it.

Speaker 2: 39:36

Well, having two young kids, I mean I okay, so we'll play this scenario out. Uh, kids are at, uh, chick-fil-a. No, I'm not Well sure by themselves. Yeah, yeah, the kids are at the grandparents' house.

Speaker 1: 39:51

Okay, okay.

Speaker 2: 39:52

And my husband is out of town. He travels for work sometimes.

Speaker 1: 39:55

I like how this dream starts, with all of the people she loves the most just going somewhere else. It's like, yeah, honey, go Cody, goodbye.

Speaker 2: 40:03

All right, you asked about recharging.

Speaker 1: 40:05

That is true, that's fair, that's fair.

Speaker 2: 40:07

I there, I, oh, there's so much value in alone time at this stage of life. And, and even my husband I'll I'll be out of my headphones in and I'll be, I don't know, doing the dishes, and he'll come in and say something to me and he'll say this is one of those moments that you just need to be alone, isn't it? And I'm like, yes, and that, and he knows that about me, about me now. So that's, for me, the biggest gift that I give myself is moments of quiet, of being alone and also cleaning. Oh my goodness.

Speaker 1: 40:44

Okay, All right, I am not. I am not.

Speaker 2: 40:47

well, it is, I'm not a clean freak by any means, but I think, when there is chaos happening, having an a space that feels comfortable and organized and the really cool thing about cleaning is it's something that you can do and see. So I spend so much time in this world, I'll be giving you a hug right now. Okay, totally, yeah, yeah, this isn't weird.

Speaker 1: 41:10

I'm like I get that. I mean I like an orderly place too. Yeah, she'll be like, okay, I'll be like, do you want to go away? Like we've talked about her going away and just getting her hotel. And she's like what if I stayed here and just clean?

Speaker 2: 41:20

Yeah, what if you guys went away? Yeah, yeah, right, yeah, yeah. And I think I spend so much time in this headspace of dreaming and of thinking big and of honestly not knowing how to accomplish all that I want to accomplish and that gives me so much energy and drive in your immediate space and creating an environment that feels peaceful and controllable, so that then you're right back into that. You know that, that headspace of being able to think in a totally different way.

Speaker 1: 42:03

So this perfect day for you might not even mean leaving the house at all.

Speaker 2: 42:07

Yeah, right.

Speaker 1: 42:09

Are you an introvert?

Speaker 2: 42:11

No, I wouldn't say that I am. I would say I'm. I'm more of an extrovert, but I do appreciate. I appreciate solitude at times.

Speaker 1: 42:19

Even extroverts need that, oh, let's get alone, let's yeah. Like finally it catches up to you after a while, yeah.

Speaker 2: 42:27

But I'll say the other. You know, my husband and I, our perfect date night is probably doing a project together. We've renovated both the homes that we've owned together and little things like that, that, that sense of accomplishment and and we do projects really well together.

Speaker 1: 42:43

We have a lot of a lot of fun with all of that. Yeah, no, no, you're good. No, dude, don't worry about it.

Speaker 2: 42:48

And then I even think the moments when I pull my kids in is probably watching. You know you mentioned them growing up. How beautiful that is, watching those moments where they're discovering who they are and a sense of freedom and how it's just. There's nothing like it.

Speaker 1: 43:09

Yeah, yeah, that's great. So so, in terms of like, say, sparking your creativity, do you need those moments, do those look different, or does that kind of come in? Hey, I'm cleaning, you know, and I'm getting ideas, or like, whether you're writing a keynote speech or thinking of creative ways with the charity, um, are there things you do that for me? I'll just. It's walking in nature, like if I'm like I need ideas, that's what I can't do. It's sitting in front of my laptop, you know, jogging doesn't help, like driving kind of helps, but walking in nature, do you have something? That's just like the idea to start to come easy.

Speaker 2: 43:40

Yeah, it's actually if, when I am laying in bed at night, it takes me forever to fall asleep.

Speaker 1: 43:46

but I have written entire keynote speeches and I think it's a silence thing there is.

Speaker 2: 43:51

There is no distraction, it is dark, it is silent. It's just you and your thoughts, and those are probably the moments where my best ideas have have come to me, or or my best speeches have have come to me. Yeah, yeah, the out walking.

Speaker 1: 44:08

I love that, but I'm constantly taking in the world around me which then becomes a distraction for me the laying in bed at night. Sometimes I have had many stroke of genius.

Speaker 2: 44:18

And I remember them the next day. Some people are like I don't remember what I think about in the middle of the night.

Speaker 1: 44:22

You don't get up and write them down or anything. I don't, no.

Speaker 2: 44:24

I do remember I rehearse them. I'll come up with the idea. I mean, I will spend hours rehearsing whatever. If it's a keynote, I will just rehearse and rehearse and rehearse.

Speaker 1: 44:34

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 44:35

And then I'm tired the next day, but also energized by that midnight breakthrough.

Speaker 1: 44:41

Wow, Okay. So you know, if people are like need a keynote speaker, it's Mary Messner. Yeah. She's in Kansas City, but travels all over. Yeah, so what's? What's your website, mary? Or?

Speaker 2: 44:52

mary messner mary messnercom.

Speaker 1: 44:54

it's so good to get your name, isn't it? Yes, yes when did you get your website?

Speaker 2: 44:59

well, my website started out as highline creative group okay, I'll I'll give you my, my backstory there my my business, llc, is highline creative group because the creative part again is just it's important to me that all of this is a creative process, how you dream, how you feel about things. And when I started that company, everybody said, oh, creative, you're an ad agency, you're a graphic design firm, and I was fighting that.

Speaker 1: 45:26

I see yeah.

Speaker 2: 45:27

I rebranded more publicly as Mary Messner so I still do work. When I'm doing consulting type of work, I do that as Highline Creative Group. When I'm speaking, it's all branded as me You're hiring me. So website I mean, I think I got that two and a half years ago. I mean, I have a lot of websites that I had the midnight idea and I'm like I'm going to register it.

Speaker 1: 45:49

It seems like today it'd be like cause I got Devin Henderson, like 20 years ago. It just seems like today. Like you know, in recent years, if like all the names have been taken because people have just eaten them up so they can sell them.

Speaker 2: 46:06

So that's cool that you got your name.

Speaker 1: 46:07

You know, that's that's awesome, Well cool. Okay, so there it is Do you need your people to create the unexpected? Well, they can innovate by dreaming, feeling, doing. You got it. It comes down to creativity innovation. I love that. It's really about transformation and chasing those dreams so awesome. Well, thanks for coming on today.

Speaker 2: 46:27

Thanks for having me Really appreciate you being here.

Speaker 1: 46:28

We'll have to do it again sometime. I'd love to. Yeah, we'll find out what's going on. We'll do a part two with Mary, Okay, awesome. Well, before we wrap up and I do have one final question for you. You would have heard it, I asked Jason the same question earlier, so maybe you've had some time to process for hosting us here. Also, visit Mudwater. Go to the show notes, Click on the link, See if it's right for you. And yeah, don't forget to like, subscribe, share, comment. That really helps us to extend our reach and people who need to dream big. This message will be great for them. So, all right, before we sign off, you know this is helpful because you have daughters, so no doubt, and you're a keynote speaker. So if my daughters were right here, what's one thing you would tell them?

Speaker 2: 47:19

I think that I would say what you bring to this world is important and necessary and valuable and it looks just like it looks for you. You don't have to change to be to be someone else or morph yourself to try and fit into somebody else's definition of who you're supposed to be, and I'll. I'll expand that to the idea of confidence, because that's a big topic for young girls and we oftentimes consider confidence as similar to leadership. Loudest person in the room, the person that can stand on stage without getting nervous and also confidence is dancing in your room for your daughters that are dancers when nobody's watching, and just having full expression of who you are. That takes confidence. Or the parent that loves to read bedtime stories to their kiddos in silly voices that takes confidence. So for a young girl to find those moments where she feels 100% confident and, as a parent, to celebrate those and help her see that that's, that's also something that she should celebrate for herself. If she can latch onto that, that'll carry her for a long time.

Speaker 1: 48:46

That's great, my I don't know if I'll be able to find it my daughter Eva, she's seven. I have notes You'll see. Look at my girl talk notes. Look at that. I have these girl talk notes that go, I just write down their name, their age. Oh, it's right at the top. Eva said dad, if I have my own room, I'm going to dance whenever I want, even at night, I'm going to practice my dance moves.

Speaker 2: 49:05

I love it. I know, isn't that?

Speaker 1: 49:06

funny that it's like that she's thinking if I were alone and no one was watching, this is what I would do, and that's exactly what you just said you know and how confident.

Speaker 2: 49:13

She feels so confident there, yeah.

Speaker 1: 49:16

And it's like, oh, you want them to just like hang on to that embrace that you know, yes, so thank you.

Speaker 2: 49:28

And when you're in different environments. But being really honest about that moment that you feel incredibly confident, Let that carry you.

Speaker 1: 49:35

Love that. That's so great, thank you. All right, mary, thank you for joining, appreciate you being here. We're going to sign off with a kind of that question. You know you ask what if I ask what else is possible? Same thing. So, excuse me, I'll say what else you say is possible and we'll let we'll let the audience take that question and run with it today, all right, so here we go, embrace the possibility mindset, which means that you never stop asking the question what else is possible? We will see you next time.