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The Possibility Mindset Podcast
Embracing The Possibility Mindset is about igniting untapped potential, emerging stronger after setbacks and achieving seemingly impossible goals. Devin Henderson is a motivational keynote speaker, award-winning magician and comedian, and most notably, he and his wife Lynn have been blessed with the opportunity of raising 7 beautiful daughters! Devin’s passion is using real-life examples, along with humor and fun, to help individuals and organizations pursue new levels of greatness and to keep going no matter what. You’ll also enjoy wonderful conversations with guests who have pursued incredible possibilities in their life and work. Subscribe now and discover what else is possible for you!
You can learn more about Devin at http://devinhenderson.com.
Email - info@DevinHenderson.com
The Possibility Mindset Podcast
#27 Who...But How? with Co-Host Jesse Reed
When you’re talking with a friend, anything is possible. Jesse Reed – retired US Navy Commander and past guest on the podcast – makes an encore to join Devin as co-host for this episode.
Tune in to hear their "tricks" to maximizing productivity. Here's a hint: The secret is in asking "who" rather than "how". So where do you find capable "who's" to help you establish more effective workflows?
With humor and insight, they navigate a discussion on mindset, trust, and the military-approved principle for building a team that helps you do it all.
Is it magic? Is it a cheat code? Listen now to find out, available wherever you get your podcasts.
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Episode 12 featuring Jesse Reed: https://rb.gy/sxkbcj
Xero Shoes: https://xeroshoes.com/go/devin
Devin's Book Recommendations:
- Who Not How: https://amzn.to/3WhmyQu
- 10x is Easier than 2x: https://amzn.to/3xRTpRT
For the full experience, check us out on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DevinHendersonSpeaker
Download and listen to The Possibility Mindset Podcast, wherever you get your podcasts.
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Get social with Devin:
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/DevinHendersonSpeaker/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/devinhendersonspeaker/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@devinhendersonspeaker
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DevinHendersonSpeaker
Twitter: https://twitter.com/HendersonSpeaks
Book Devin as your Keynote Speaker: https://devinhenderson.com/contact/
Learn more: http://devinhenderson.com
Email: info@DevinHenderson.com
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A special thanks to our sponsor, Eggtc. Shawnee: https://eggtckc.com/eggtc-shawnee/
Sound and Audio Technician: Zack Midyett
Hey, what's going on everybody? Welcome to the Possibility Mindset Podcast. I'm Devin Henderson, I am your host and I believe that something greater is always possible for you. And today, ladies and gentlemen, we have something new happening. We have a co-host with us today.
Speaker 2:Sidekick, sidekick, I'm the Andy Richthost with us today. Sidekick, sidekick, I'm the Andy Richter to your Conan O'Brien, you're my wingman.
Speaker 1:There we go. What's Iceman say? He's like, you can be my wingman anytime.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and. Maverick says no you can be, you can be mine. Right, right, I'll be the wingman. I'm comfortable with that, just for today.
Speaker 1:Many of you remember Jesse from when he was actually a guest on the podcast. One of my first guests, like Commander Jesse Reed, us Navy, retired and also was in the Top Gun school. But today he's acting as my wingman and that's an honor to me that you would put yourself into that position for me today. I got your back. I appreciate that, man. Well, cool, well, this is something new. I kept I've done a lot of solo casts, as many of you listeners know and it's just I thought, hey, man, you know, jesse and I we got. We got. We're friends, we're from like middle school, we're still close. And so I thought let's just try this man, my mind is just going blank. Let's just try this man, my mind is just going blank. Let's just try this co-host thing. All right, man, let's move on from that. That was good, but thanks for being here, man.
Speaker 2:I appreciate it. Yeah, it's good to be here, man.
Speaker 1:So I think today I told Jesse I was like I got some ideas where some things might go, but we'll see. We'll see what comes out, because when you start talking with a friend, anything is possible, yes, or what else is possible, right. So we'll get there. But I do want to, by the way, have Jesse back at some point for part two as a guest again to hear more of your story.
Speaker 2:Sound good, absolutely yeah, I'm looking forward to it.
Speaker 1:Okay, perfect, man, perfect, okay, cool. Well, before we jump into some of the fun topics for today, let me tell you about Xero Shoes. My goodness, game changer Got them on right now. They're all I wear. If you go to xeroshoescom, slash, go, slash, Devin. You can see what I'm talking about. Walking barefoot is the way to go. Is this the product I pitched last time you were on?
Speaker 2:No, it was the water and I actually checked it out afterwards and I typed in Code Devin Cool, thank you yeah.
Speaker 1:Thank you to the people who have. There's a lot of listeners who have bought into the mud, water and zero shoes. Yeah, and there goes my voice.
Speaker 2:I did three. We just hate folks, we just had omelets yes, we just hate.
Speaker 1:And then I did a thing for the city of Lenexa, kansas, the other day for their Parks and Rec people, and I did three keynotes in one day. So even with the microphone, that still starts to affect your voice, yeah. So anyway, barefoot shoes Xero shoes are awesome. They have a flexible sole, a wide toe box, a zero level drop in the shoe so that it really, I mean, you're simulating barefoot walking so that you can work all the muscles, get the range of motion that you're supposed to when you walk, and it's really, I feel like more ankle and knee strength than I've ever had in my life, really. Yeah, I got to try it out. I got wide feet. Well, you know, and that's the great thing about the wide toe box is because our toes we wear these shoes that just like cramp our toes and then people get bunions and have all kinds of issues and they need surgery just because they didn't let the toes lay out Two surgeries.
Speaker 2:On my right foot Is that right?
Speaker 1:Yeah, all right. Last night our kids had to go to dance and we had forgotten that it was dance night and my wife and I were on a walk, so we were at the park, which is about a 10-minute walk to home, but they needed to leave right then, so I was like I got this, so I just took off running.
Speaker 1:And you know, in my age, you know mid-40s you're like what's and I'm running through clumpy grass and jumping off curbs, but I honestly, I owe it a lot to just walking in these barefoot style shoes. I just feel like I'm more connected to the ground and you're not going to roll your ankles easily because your foot is like at ground level rather than like so I just had all kinds of confidence running. This is a legit testimonial to these shoes. I wear them all the time. So check it out. Zeroshuescom. Slash, go, slash, devin. There, it is All right. There it is. That's the update. So, jesse, I don't know if you've ever listened to any of my solo casts.
Speaker 2:Yes, I have.
Speaker 1:Okay, good, all right. So you're familiar with the segmentation. I've got certain things I like to talk about.
Speaker 2:Can I tell you my favorite segment, please? It's where you say stuff that your daughters say.
Speaker 1:That's one of my favorites. You know, girl Talk has always, because we both have nothing but daughters at home, right. Yeah, that daughters at home, that's. Yeah, that's right, that's right. We're girl dads, yeah, we are girl dads all the way through and through and it honestly, that girl talk thing has always been the biggest hit, whether it was like um, in my newsletters, in my speeches, in my comedy or in the podcast like.
Speaker 1:It's like when we put put on social media too, they get the biggest hits. Yeah, because people just love things. That little girls say, yeah, it's the best um so and it changes over time. Yeah, you know, it's like cute and funny, but then when they get older it's just like sometimes it's like this wisdom that comes out of them yeah, it's like man it's just mind-blowing. Yeah, yeah, absolutely, so, anyway, so so jesse's gonna get it chime, in on anything he wants to today.
Speaker 1:So watch out, you know he's. He's a wise, funny, awesome dude. So so get ready, um, ready. But here's my big announcement. This is my update, and then I want any updates from you also. I'm writing a book, all right.
Speaker 2:I'm writing a book.
Speaker 1:I got no eyebrow raises from Zach or Jesse.
Speaker 2:Well, I already knew this. I already knew this, yeah.
Speaker 1:So you may remember Will Severn's, that was on the podcast with Streamline Books, and so they basically help you write your book. They assign you an editor. Some people like to call it a ghostwriter.
Speaker 2:Okay, that was my next question, because I heard you mention ghostwriter. I thought that sounds spooky. What is that? Yeah, what is a?
Speaker 1:ghostwriter. Right, I told them they need a t-shirt that says I ain't afraid of no ghostwriter but a ghostwriter yeah, the way that that works. I mean, they're writing your thoughts but they interview with you extensively about what's the premise of the book, what's the chapter breakdown going to be, what stories, what lessons are you going to put in there? And then, with my ghostwriter she has watched endless footage of me on stage to know, like, what things do I speak about? Because my book is basically going to be an extension of my keynote, so we're pretty sure we're going to call it. Something Greater Is Always Possible and it's going to have that whole, you know the possibility mindset always give thanks, pause, pivot, pull, all these things that I talk about in my keynote, but just more examples, more stories and then even more sort of like takeaways, lessons that I don't have time for in a 60-minute keynote.
Speaker 2:Yeah, interesting, so yeah. And what people decide to go with ghostwriters and like what kind of determines which path you go? Obviously a novelist wouldn't do that, right, that's their own pure imagination on paper.
Speaker 1:Yes, well, I'll tell you what determined it for me I would never write a book if I didn't have a ghostwriter.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you don't have the time, you're a busy guy.
Speaker 1:It's so time consuming. It's even time consuming when you have a ghostwriter because you still have to, like, deliver me on stage. So for me it really came down to it's a bigger investment up front financially to have someone provide that service. But in the long run it's like someone's writing the book for you and then it's cool because I've looked at some of the stuff she's written and it's like in my voice it's the way that I would write it. So it feels kind of like AI, but an actual person.
Speaker 2:It's like whoa this person is capturing.
Speaker 1:There's not random facts made up in there, no they're capturing the essence of what I and I always kind of thought of it as like is that cheating, but it's like well, it's your intellectual property and the more people you can help you do the things that someone else can do, the better, which is actually, by the way, funny that you bring that ghostwriter question up. I'm thinking about the main topic of this podcast today being revolving around that book by Dan Sullivan and Dr Benjamin Hardy, who, not how Are you familiar with this concept?
Speaker 2:I'm actually not no, okay, okay.
Speaker 1:So if that is what this ends up being about, so the ghostwriter?
Speaker 2:Stay tuned, folks. Yeah, stay tuned. We don't even know yet.
Speaker 1:Like 15 minutes from now, I hate to lock us into something because, let's say, something opens up and then it's like I like to be free form a little bit and just say what else is possible? This is my idea. But what else is possible? People Possibility mindset. So anyway, we as possible, people possibility mindset, um. So anyway, we'll see what happens with that. But for me the ghost rider thing came down to um, it saved me time, yeah, and saved me what were you gonna say about that book, the who?
Speaker 2:I cut you off the who, not how.
Speaker 1:Okay yeah, well, that's, that's something that we'll get to. That that's what I say for kind of like the main event section it's like at the end, it's like the big thing. So sorry, I tried to jump right to the it's dude. It's all right, man, I'll rein you in, I will tell you.
Speaker 2:That's what a good flight lead does. Okay, just being a good leader, yeah, not a jerk. Okay, good to know.
Speaker 1:Thank you, I mean if anybody knows about leadership and you know with the whole Top Gun ideals it's you. So thanks for the thanks for the affirmation.
Speaker 2:At least in an airplane, yeah that's right.
Speaker 1:So awesome man so writing the book. I'm excited it should come out in like the summer, okay, and that's the other thing is like it gets done quicker when someone's helping you.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, like I don't have to wait four years and like put it down for a while, yeah, anyway. Okay, a couple other updates about me. I've added two new tricks to my keynote, which I'm so excited about. Tricks yeah, magic tricks to the keynote, because what had happened is I used to have too much magic in the keynote and I would get feedback from people that it's real magic heavy. So over the years I was slowly taking more and more magic out. I finally took so much out that it was like there was hardly any in there at all. So then some of the feedback I was getting was the magic trick was cool, we want more magic. So I was like all right we want more magic.
Speaker 2:So I was like all right, we need the goldilocks, the goldilocks of magic here.
Speaker 1:That's right. That's right. Sweet spot yeah, exactly like what's that? The pendulum has gone both ways. Yeah, the goldilocks what is it? Yeah, so I feel like I finally achieved like the perfect balance where it's like just the right amount. And the key to me was like the way I was vetting magic tricks was I didn't want tricks to take up real estate in my talk, I wanted it to be. It was like the way I was vetting magic tricks was I didn't want tricks to take up real estate in my talk. I wanted it to be.
Speaker 1:It was like going with the flow of the message so that it fit right in and the metaphors were spot on and for sure adding to the message. And so finally, I have two notes, so I have like four total now in my keynote.
Speaker 2:Which just blows me away about you, man, because having done a little bit of speaking now and dipping my toes in that, and seeing how good you are at this and when I watch you and footage of you doing it, and that in itself takes so much rehearsal and practice, yeah. And then I think about magic tricks, just in a vacuum, the amount of rehearsal and practice it takes to make that look seamless and not give it away, so to speak, right. So I can't imagine the amount of preparation you have to do here. It seems intimidating to me.
Speaker 1:You're right. I mean there is a lot of preparation and practice, because the two new tricks are actually two new tricks to me pretty much. I had kind of played with some of the concepts before, but it wasn't like, oh, old tricks from you know, I used to and I'd just bring them in. I did have to. In fact, I collaborated with my friend Todd Lemanski, because he's like, has more of an extensive knowledge of magic than I do.
Speaker 2:I think I've seen him on the news or something, right? Oh, he's been on the news.
Speaker 1:You interviewed him too, yeah, he's been on the news and he it's always. I kind of I've been calling him my magic consultant recently because he definitely had a lot of input on these two new tricks or illusions that I've added in. So it's it kind of feels like my updated version of my keynote 2024, just like that's exciting.
Speaker 2:Yeah, obviously you're not going to talk about the tricks now. Right, you got to come see dev and speak I guess.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, I gotta go buy tickets, you know? No, yeah, I'll give you a hint. One has to do with like a prediction that I mail to the event planner like weeks ahead of time and then it comes true in the deal, and it's about a vision about a seemingly impossible goal, and it's really, really fun and um, people are, like you know, focusing on that trick afterwards like how did that work?
Speaker 1:and it's like trumping the other trick that I had in the keynote already. So I'm like wow, we matched it, um, in quality and in impact. Um, but it even relates more to the message than that other trick did so do you test these like on your family before you?
Speaker 2:take it take it live. Oh for sure, sure I um. And are they like wow, are they just like all right, whatever, dad it's a mix.
Speaker 1:It's a mix because when you do it oh, I did it for my um, for one of my kids, friends's friends, and it blew her mind so much that she just slid off the couch and was just laughing so hard Like how? So? That's when I knew.
Speaker 2:Okay, there's something here.
Speaker 1:That's a good reaction to get, but with my own kids it's like they know enough secret behind magic that they're kind of like okay, we know there's something to it and they're kind of like, well, what were you doing here?
Speaker 1:What was happening then? That they're kind of like, okay, we know there's something to it. And they're kind of like, well, what were you doing here? What was happening then? And so people start to pick up on things, but it gives you enough of a gauge to know does this have any legs at all? Yeah, so, anyway, man, that's my big updates. What about you?
Speaker 2:You're speaking more and more. And how are things going with that? Yeah, you know I'm getting a little more public speaking and actually and thanks to you, by the way, you've been very helpful. I know we'll meet at church sometimes and bounce things off each other and I'll bring whatever crazy idea I have and you'll kind of point me in the right direction there a little bit more because of your experience and just background in this. But yeah, I've got a couple more things lined up this year.
Speaker 1:I seem to be really popular with funeral directors of all people, People in the death business, really want to hear from Top Gun graduates apparently. Yeah, it's funny because I've done kind of some of the funeral director circuit as well and when people would hear oh, you're speaking for funeral directors, do you have to go in all dressed in black? No, these people like to party. They the biggest like party crowd I've ever seen.
Speaker 2:Every time I go to one of these things, they've got a. You know, if I can show up the day before, they've got a big kind of setup. I mean, the last one I did was in salt lake city area. Uh, it was up in park city, actually up about just about 30 minutes outside of salt lake, and I mean they had like luau dancers and like a whole Hawaiian theme. Everyone was wearing Hawaiian shirts and their fire breathers and stuff. I go, oh my gosh. Yeah, I was expecting, you know, just like you said, a bunch of kind of like undertakers, yeah you know solemn looks on their faces.
Speaker 2:I think when you work in that industry and you realize you're up front, up close and personal every week with, like, the cycle of life, in other words words, you know, like you're there people morning, yeah, and I think you learn to realize it's such a natural part, it's something that we fear, you know, as humans. Like it's scary the idea of like, oh, someday we die, right, yeah, um, but I think when you're around it gives you more of a grounded sense of of the cycle of life and I think, for whatever reason, they don't take themselves as seriously maybe as some other people do. Yeah, yeah, but great crowd of people. I'm honored that my reputation, if you want to call it that, has sort of circulated, because what will happen is I'll finish up a talk and then I'll get a phone call from someone else.
Speaker 2:Hey, I heard you spoke to XYZ and group and I wonder if you could speak to our group at our little get-together.
Speaker 1:Sure.
Speaker 2:I'd love to.
Speaker 1:I wonder if you could speak to our group at our little get-together. Sure, I'd love to. What better pat on the back is there than to get a repeat booking? Yeah, you know what I mean. Or a referral from the booking yeah.
Speaker 2:And in my grown-up job, as I call it, where I work in financial planning and run a team here in Kansas City, that's the ultimate compliment is when your team takes such good care of somebody that then you get a phone call from someone else that goes hey, I heard my buddy, joe Smith, works with you guys. I want to work with you too. I want a piece of that. So yeah, so kind of a long-winded update, but you know, the speaking is going well. I do run this team here in town. That's kind of my grown-up job, as I call it, but that's going fantastic. And then folks may or may not know this. I think last time I talked to you I can't remember if I was back flying commercially, also part-time I don't think I was.
Speaker 1:Last time you were on the podcast? Yeah, I don't think I was. I can't remember if you had been back on it yet.
Speaker 2:So I hadn't really talked about it a whole lot. I'd been on disability, I'd lost my FAA medical, which, for people who, who don't know much about flying just like a driver's license. You got to have a license from the FAA to be able to fly. It's not only a license, but then you have to have a medical um license as well, meaning, hey, they don't want you to get up there and you're flying an airplane and suddenly have a heart attack or you're at high risk for that Right. So especially and especially commercial pilots have kind of the most rigorous standards they have to go through because you're carrying a couple hundred people in the back potentially and uh. And so I had had some orthopedic issues that were pretty severe from my time in the navy, uh. So that was the most unrealistic part of top gun maverick. By the way, it was like this guy's almost pushing 60 and still like in good shape and not like volleyball not limping around and hasn't broken some bones and it doesn't have a bad neck.
Speaker 2:I'm like no way, Although I guess if you're five foot seven maybe it's easier. I'm six foot one, so but anyway, long story short, without going into all the details, had some neck issues that have been really bad over the years. Just through serendipity met the guy here in Kansas City, a neurosurgeon, who basically kind of put Humpty Dumpty back together last year and I got my medical back. I thought it was gone forever. And so here I am, Got a lot of irons in the fire and on occasionally jump on an airplane and go fly around for a little while.
Speaker 1:So not a whole lot. That's great. That is a lot going on, man, there's a lot going on. You're flying, you're helping people know where to put their money.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I probably say yes to less things here but but for now it's.
Speaker 1:It's a juggling action. You're able to keep all, yes, all the irons in the air.
Speaker 2:Yes, I will always say yes to devon and devon henderson though.
Speaker 1:Just so you know, that's awesome that's first priority I'll put that on a t-shirt. Yeah, that's great, man. Well cool, I'm glad, and that that is awesome, that you've gotten into the funeral director's circuit and, uh, hopefully you'll just stay there and ride that wave through every state.
Speaker 2:It's a known quantity, yeah yeah, man, that's great.
Speaker 1:I do have to tell you one crazy thing. You know who Tim Hawkins is. Zach right, okay, he's like a Christian comedian performs mainly in churches, are you familiar?
Speaker 2:with Tim Hawkins. The name sounds familiar, Okay yeah.
Speaker 1:So I've always been a big fan of Tim Hawkins. He was one of the reasons that I pivoted to stand-up comedy. Like six or seven years ago. I was like, oh, what if I just gave up speaking and gave up magic and just started being a comedian? How cool is that? He was like one of the big things that inspired that whole idea.
Speaker 1:Well, anyway, I had met him just like a couple of times at like comedian conferences and I even went to some of his shows and got to shake his hand, um, and I knew that he lived um somewhere near the st louis area, just because I had been following his podcast and I'm in kansas, sydney, and I thought, oh, if I ever go to st louis, you know what if I reach out to him, and what if he'd be willing to get a coffee with this you know um aspiring comedian.
Speaker 1:Well, I I won't say the name of the town, just because I you know, but I was speaking near St Louis and I happened to know that it was the specific city that he lives in, because they talk about it on the podcast and everything. And so I, the night before my gig, I always like to go for a walk, so I asked the people at the hotel where can I just go walk, where there's just maybe a walking trail? And they go, oh, go down to go down to this certain trail, and also you can walk through the old, historic downtown of this, of this town that we're in. So like, cool, perfect, so I go down there. And I was even, you know, talking to my wife on the phone. I was like I think you know, this is like where tim hawkins lives. Wouldn't that be crazy to like run into him?
Speaker 1:and I'm thinking like not gonna have. Yeah, I mean, you know that'd be like coming to shaw and thinking I'm going to run into Zach or you know, what I mean. So I'm walking down the street and all of a sudden there's like there he is. There he is, tim Hawkins, and if you remind me to get the selfie to you so that you can maybe put it in the YouTube video, right?
Speaker 2:here, just overlay it real quick.
Speaker 1:There he was.
Speaker 2:I was like.
Speaker 1:Tim Hawkins. He's like yeah, I was like hawkins.
Speaker 2:He's like yeah, I was like devin henderson. Did he have like a look of fear in his eyes?
Speaker 1:like yeah, well, yeah well, I think like since he probably lives there, he probably gets a lot of people like hey timmy, you know there's like a sign as you're driving to town but I mean, like it was in the back of my head that I was like I know he lives here and then, like there he was. So it was like one of those kind of like really cool moments that I call it a God moment. Yeah, it was like just to connect with someone that you admire, you know, and we chatted for about 20 minutes. Super nice guy. Yeah, his wife was with them. We got to chat. They were in downtown there to meet with one of their kids and have dinner and it was just one of those crazy random run-ins you know with someone that you're just such a big fan of.
Speaker 2:And you know, with something that you're just such a big fan of and it's like you're actually you know, it was just like so, so bizarre, and just kind of one of those like isn't that cool when, like you're, the people that are like you look up to meet your expectations when you yes, yes, for sure because I've had some people I've met over the years where I'm like oh, and then you meet them, they're kind of like not really who they are on stage.
Speaker 1:Yeah, totally and he was. I even. I even kind of fanboyed a little bit. I was like, hey, my favorite bit. I'm like sorry he goes, no, it's fine. I was like my favorite bit is that's the worst. I don't know if you're familiar with that bit, but dude, isn't that the craziest? I mean, it would just blow your mind to run into him, so it was really fun, so that was a fun update and that's the cool thing. Something I just call random, something that doesn't fit in with anything else you know.
Speaker 1:And this next thing at one point I thought about possibly doing a stand-up bit about, because I think people can relate to this.
Speaker 1:So you know when you like, for example, you get out of your car and you're going to walk into Target to get something and you're like halfway between your car and the doors of Target and you you realize you forgot something in your car left my cell phone in there so you have to turn around and like do you ever think, oh, I'm turning around and now people are watching me, like look at that moron turning around forgot something and so, like I always felt like I've had to be like, oh, like I had to do some motion rather than just stopping, and because if you just stop and turn, it looks weird.
Speaker 1:So, I feel like there should be a universal sign for, like I forgot something, I'm going back for it, just so you don't have to feel weird, just so you can be like I think you should turn around and address everyone else in the parking lot.
Speaker 2:Listen up, folks. I forgot something. Stop judging me.
Speaker 1:Yes, that's exactly what I mean. So so the the fact that, like I'm thinking about this says I think, first of all, I live way too much in my head and care way too much about what other people think. But are you with me at all? Like, do you ever get that where you're?
Speaker 2:like, oh, someone's probably watching and I'm just stopping I've done that, like, um, I think I've done something like that, even like walking into a bathroom or something. I walk in and I'm like, you know, I walk out and I'm like, oh, I don't want to look like the guy who had to go right into the bathroom twice. I forgot to, you know.
Speaker 2:I left something in there or whatever. So I'm like, yeah, better make sure everyone exits here for a second and then I'll walk in when no one's watching. But somebody told me and I'm sure this is so hard for me too, man, but there's this.
Speaker 1:I don't know who this quote is attributed to, but something to the effect of we'd care less about what people thought of us if we realized how often they didn't think about us or how little they did think about us. Yeah Right, yeah man. But I think what made me realize that is that one time I was, you know, walking and then I realized I had to be like, oh yeah, like I had to like acknowledge to other people that, oh yeah, I forgot, you know, like I had to do something. I can't just like stop and turn and go back.
Speaker 2:um, so anyway, all right I kind of want to like see this happen though, like if I see you going into a parking lot, you don't know I'm like trailing you. I I'm just going to like watch Devin and go. Man, I hope he forgets something I want to see him do like his little Michael Jackson move and spin around.
Speaker 1:I just think we need some universal sign for let's turn it around before we got to get back.
Speaker 2:Yeah, my universal sign is I go, god, I turn around, but yours is natural and organic, right.
Speaker 1:So mine is very much people watching me. Yes, I'm naturally grumpy, yeah, yeah, yeah, I guess it's part about being a performer thinking who's watching me, right?
Speaker 2:now, yeah Well, hey, that makes sense to me All right man.
Speaker 1:Okay, Next segment here, Trivial Complaint. I think you're going to be able to relate to this one. Okay, this is how hard it can be to pump up the tires on your kid's bicycle. Have you ever not like with cheap bicycles, like we just had what? Eva just turned seven yesterday, so we went to get a new bike, and they're fine when they're new, but what happens is the tire starts to rotate on the rim. So then the little what do you call the valve?
Speaker 1:yeah, the valve starts to get kind of like sideways. Yeah, um, and so then you can't get the. Uh, if you're watching, I'm trying to do this with my fingers. You've got to like pull it out and reposition it, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Or you've got to like slide the tire around the rim. And then the spokes are in the way, because if it's a small bike, I don't know, sometimes it's like nearly impossible to inflate those tires.
Speaker 2:I was just trying to do this with my daughter's bike the other day and, yeah, I think what happens is the tube, you know. So you got the outside part of the tire right tread but then you have the tube itself the tube like gets rotated yes, in there. And then the only way to fix it, I think, is you got to just deflate the whole thing, kind of start over but nobody wants to do that, I know deflate it.
Speaker 1:We're in a hurry here. Work that inner tube around.
Speaker 2:Yeah see, that's just too much work I did a lot of road bike riding so I've got an okay road bike at home and the tires on that are real skinny and man changing the inner tube on that is a commitment.
Speaker 1:Yeah, to get that valve positioned perfectly through that hole.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm just going to take it to the Zach of bike bicycles and just say can you just please do this for me?
Speaker 1:Speaking of the Zach of bicycles, when you walked in today and saw this setup, you were like whoa.
Speaker 2:This was unbelievable. And then I met. You guys can't see him at home. He's behind the camera.
Speaker 1:Zach, who's just amazing to walk in action.
Speaker 2:Watch in action here.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it is amazing that he's got like a big light. That's like the size of a giant beach ball. It just looks cool and he just knows what he's doing.
Speaker 2:yeah, and I come in here and I start messing with things like can we do this? Can we just like jeez?
Speaker 1:see what I have to work with people in the anyway well, that was a good trivial thing. I I like you like that yeah and so, and so I I finally learned to follow up the trivial complaints with an always give thanks section. Okay, so I look down in my notes and I have kind of a running list saved for future solo casts, like of complaints and thanks. And my complaint list is so long it's like which one am I going to choose?
Speaker 2:from Welcome to Devin Henderson's curmudgeon hour. Yeah, one day.
Speaker 1:Anything is possible.
Speaker 2:There's more possible things you could complain about. Someday it'll just be a full episode of it all.
Speaker 1:That's hilarious, but then I went to the always give thanks section. You know how many things there were zero really yeah, which, and I what?
Speaker 1:it made me realize something. Uh, it told me that when I talk, I talk because I talk about always give thanks in my keynote. But what I realized was I'm usually, when I say always give thanks, I don't really mean always. What I meant in the keynote was like, when things are hard, yeah, look to things that are good, which is a great time to give thanks, but always giving thanks means always, always. And so then, all of a sudden, I started to realize I'm not living up to what that phrase really has the potential for, which is always, and so then I thought I just started reflecting what am I thankful for? And I was like, huh, healthy drinking water. Huh, like, like a house that I'm trying to move out of and that I'm tired of.
Speaker 1:You know, my friend jesse zach, I mean like always giving thanks. You know what I mean. And wow, a laptop that works, and these are all you could call these, some of these trivial gratitude things. But if you're always giving thanks, I mean I just realized I'm not always doing it. I'm just focusing on gratitude, oh, and the times when they need to pick me up out of something hard. But if you're always focused on it. That's a different thing. It took me years.
Speaker 2:So growing up, my dad was very much just your attitude is something you can control, right, you can't always control all these other things that happen to you, but you can control your attitude. And I was ah, dad, it's not that easy, yeah, and it's not easy, but it's true. And if that attitude is giving thanks, even when there's trials going on or things aren't going your way or you're having a bad day, it really gives you that perspective, I think, just like you said, because if we're having a bad day, something's not going right in here in the room, the equipment's not working, oh gosh, this day's kind of ruined. And then you walk out and realize you don't have a home, you don't live in Johnson County, kansas, you don't have all these things that you've been blessed with Pretty quickly.
Speaker 2:All those things you were just complaining about would seem trivial in comparison, so there's always something to give thanks about.
Speaker 1:That's why.
Speaker 2:I wear this bracelet right here. Actually this is my bad day bracelet. It's got the name of a Vietnam. I never knew his family or anything. Got it when I finished survival school but I wear it every day. People ask me about it and it's got the day he was shot down in North Vietnam on here in his name. And if I'm ever having a bad day I just kind of look at it and go, hey, I'm not missing in action.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So it's a perspective bracelet is kind of what I think of it. What's his name, by the way? Bruce Nystrom. Okay, promoted afterwards they're pretty sure he died, but promoted. He was a commander. When he got shot down in 1968 in the Navy he was a squadron commander, got shot down and then they promoted him after the fact to captain. But you know, I've Googled him Sometime. I've thought about, like, should I reach out to his family? You know, it's probably at this point now, you know it's we're talking grandkids and that would probably be his living survivors, but their family will never know it. But I've worn this guy's bracelet, you know, on my on my arm. Since what?
Speaker 1:2004,. I think so yeah, that's great. What a great physical, visible reminder of that.
Speaker 2:That's awesome.
Speaker 1:So nice. I need something like that then to remind me.
Speaker 2:A token of some sort A token, yeah.
Speaker 1:So well, today I'm going to go with my always give thanks is you? Oh, wow, yeah, I'm blushing, yeah, I mean, what a blessing it is that, like you know, we go way back to middle school and then just like lost touch for so many years. And then, when we got together at Black Dog Coffeehouse, you know about a year ago it felt like we were back in eighth grade, man you know what I mean. It was just like here we are.
Speaker 2:And I I mean I followed you over the years. I you had no idea this was happening, but I'm, you know, I lived all over the place in the Navy and I've got two kids and they're getting older and I'm showing them this this kid I used to sit next to in middle school he was so good at magic Look at this YouTube video of him now. And you know, to this day I think I said this in the last podcast. I'm repeating myself, but there was a little sugar packet trick that you showed people how to do on.
Speaker 2:YouTube and I, I still they're like dad, we no. Devin Henderson that's awesome, man, that's awesome. Yeah, wow, I'm honored man.
Speaker 1:Thank you. All right, so that is now confessions of a motivational speaker, and so feel free to jump in if you have one of your own too, you know, because I think, like, as a motivational speaker, like I mean, all people are trying to like keep a facade of sorts, maybe, or like social media is great proof of that.
Speaker 1:Like let me just show you how perfect air quotes, how perfect my life is. Well, I like to kind of like pull the curtain back a little bit and just show motivational speakers. We're just like everybody else, you know. Yeah, I'm probably the only one who's saying that motivational speakers don't think like everyone else. Here we go. So here's my confession I make decisions. I make decisions based on what other people want from me. So they're assumptions. So I assume they have these assumptions, even if it's true or not that it should not be how I make my decisions. So I'll give you an example right now kind of getting as vulnerable as I possibly can in this moment my hair, my facial hair and my hair I'm kind of growing out the mop top a little bit.
Speaker 1:And I don't know why, I can't tell you why I just like start letting it grow. One day, I think I just got tired of cutting it and I was like, oh, what do I look like now with longer hair? And then I was like letting the beard grow out. But I got like quite a bit of white in my beard and so I'm always thinking like what does my wife think? What do my kids think? What do the people who hire me think, what?
Speaker 1:does that stranger think like what do they think? What do they think? And it's all about oh, they don't like it, I should cut my hair. Oh, you do like it. Okay, I'll keep growing it out, and it's all just like. Based on what other? And that's just one example sure but I've done this my whole life. Like I make these assumptions about what I and they might even like look at me when I walk in the room.
Speaker 2:I'm like they hate my hair, they hate my beard.
Speaker 1:And then that's the way they looked at me. I'm going to go ahead and cut it all off, and this isn't about whether I should or should not grow out any kind of hair, but it's about the fact that I make assumptions and then I actually base my actions on my assumptions. And again, whether my assumptions are true or not, I shouldn't base my decisions on what other people are thinking.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 1:I've just always the peer pressure thing. I've always had that, you know.
Speaker 2:Which is interesting. How many speakers have you watched? I imagine when you go and there's a lot of speakers on the lineup, you probably do your thing, but do you ever stick around and watch anyone else do their?
Speaker 1:thing I do, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and so then you ask yourself how closely am I paying attention to their hair or whatever, the beard and all that I'm going?
Speaker 1:to be honest.
Speaker 2:I do and I think maybe that's part of the problem is that I think in some ways I'm superficial like that.
Speaker 1:I don't know if superficial is the right word or I'm just focused. You're detail-oriented. Yeah, I don't consider myself a fashion person because I don't really know what's in it. I'll watch YouTube videos to see oh, what are the?
Speaker 2:men's haircuts. I don't know, man, that jacket's pretty slick you're wearing. I like that jacket. Thanks, man.
Speaker 1:Like men's haircuts for 2024. What's trending, what's going? But then I'm like, and then sometimes I hate that. I'm even thinking like that, that it's all about fashion and looks. But maybe that's judging, or looking at or assessing, I guess, is a better word other people You're going to think well, they're assessing me too.
Speaker 2:I saw Greg. I'm going to mess up his last name, greg McKeon, I think. Speak, he's pretty well known. Okay, he's a British or Australian guy. And when he spoke at a conference that we had here in town for my grown-up job, he uh, he was wearing a three-piece suit. Oh yeah, and it it seemed to match his demeanor. So I think that's probably what's most important is like does your look and kind of your appearance and all that your vibe kind of like back up your personality in a way. Yeah, that's great.
Speaker 1:No, that's I. I believe that's true. A lot of times I'll we'll do, I call it a fashion show for my wife and kids and just be like does this go? Does this okay, this okay, is this match, you know? And it's good to get input from young people, but I think I put too much pressure on my wife. Which jacket, which one you didn't pick?
Speaker 1:one you know but but you know, another example, a fashion aside of just me doing what other people like I give in so easily to people like like I was in a fraternity in college and there were two guys in our fraternity who got caught smoking marijuana, which 20-plus years ago was a bigger deal than it is now right.
Speaker 1:Which the rules of our fraternity were. They were freshmen, and if you get caught smoking marijuana, then you don't get to initiate. You have to wait until the next semester to get initiated, which is a big deal, because you want to go through initiation with your class, like your people that you came in with. And so I was the big brother in the fraternity of one of these guys, so I was doing a great job, and so they asked me, devin, because we have in the fraternity sort of a trial process to decide are we going to let them be initiated? Are we going to give them a pass and still let them get initiated? Are we going to make them wait? Well, I told them yeah, I'll defend you, guys, I'm your big brother. That's what a big brother would do.
Speaker 1:Well, then, like the next day, some other guy in the fraternity pulled me aside. He said hey, man, are you really doing this? He goes, come on your ideals. I. I mean, think about this. You're defending something that, like, you're against you. Don't believe it. I'm like yeah, yeah, yeah, he goes, you need to pull out of this.
Speaker 1:I was like, okay okay yeah, and I went straight to them.
Speaker 1:I was like, guys, I'm sorry I can't do this you know, and so they had someone else defend them and I I regret that to this day that I went back on my word of doing that because even yeah, I mean even though it was something I thought you know wasn't the best idea for them to be doing at the time, I guess you know is where my headspace was is I was thinking like I could have like been good to my word and done my best to defend them and say, hey, are we going to give them a second chance? And just gone through. So I think my whole point is I gave in so easily, like I didn't even give it a thought and give time to pray and think through is this other guy right? Should I back out? I was just like, yeah, okay, All right, All right, and I've been like that my whole life. I think it comes down to I'm a people pleaser. I think, ultimately, what all of this whole segment is about is that Devin Henderson is a people pleaser.
Speaker 2:I feel that man and I think the way it translates for me is I hate telling people bad news. Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:That's so hard, man. Yeah, as a people pleaser, that is not fun.
Speaker 2:It's so hard, yeah, which is weird because I'll tell myself bad news and criticize myself all day long about it.
Speaker 1:I could have done this better.
Speaker 2:But it's so hard to do that to other people sometimes when you just want to be like a peacemaker and you just want to, you know, so, um, so, yeah, I definitely feel that you know, I'd say I'm a total history nerd. Um, and one of my favorite historical characters, uh, is John Adams. Nice and uh, I was just in Boston a couple of weeks ago. I was on a layover there. I had a long layover, so I I I'd spent the day in Boston walking the freedom trail, which, if you've never been to Boston it's.
Speaker 2:Basically it starts near the Boston Commons, which is like a big park area, and you just follow and there's all these historical monuments from like revolutionary era days. There's like a cemetery where, like all these famous revolutionary Paul Revere's buried and you walk past that and then you go past the spot of the Boston Massacre and they all have like little monuments set up to that, and so one of my favorite books of all time historical books was John Adams, and if you read the book and you watch, there was like an HBO miniseries which is never as good as the book.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Paul Giamatti is there. Yeah, he did a great job.
Speaker 2:I want to watch that it was good, but one of the most unpopular things that he did was in the Boston Massacre he represented in court the British soldiers that shot the local folks. And everyone there at the time were right on the verge of Revolutionary War. They're like hang them just throw them out, he goes.
Speaker 2:No, I know it's unpopular, I know everyone disagrees with me, but we're the rule of laws here. These folks deserve a defense, and if nobody else is going to do, I'm going to do it, even though these kids I mean they were kids represented everything that that you know, the colonial residents. They're absolutely despised about that country and so that I think about that a lot and I go. Man, sometimes doing the right thing is really unpopular.
Speaker 1:Well it's. It was about justice, yeah, that was right. And so, like it was about justice, yeah, that was right, and so it was more important to uphold that value of justice than it was. Let's just go after our own ideal here. So I wish I would have had you speaking to me at the time of this fraternity trial.
Speaker 2:Hey, it's easy for me to talk about this book In execution. It's so difficult right In the moment. Yeah.
Speaker 1:But I think if I just would have had the awareness of mind to like hey, devin, you get to make your own decision here. Don't base it on you know. Because I thought, oh, if I do this, all the people in the fraternity are going to hate me. You know, all the respectable people are going to be like Devin shouldn't have you know. Devin's an idiot. He shouldn, man.
Speaker 2:I I'd love to walk that boston trail sometime I've never been in boston I think I've layovered there but I want to spend some time there. It's, it's, it's a great city and uh, if you're a history buff, was walking the uh, the freedom trails they call it is, uh, is a phenomenal experience.
Speaker 1:So nice, nice man. All right, okay, um, are you ready for your favorite segment I?
Speaker 2:just I'm now. I'm going into fanboy mode here. I'm like all, all right. What did the Henderson girl say this week?
Speaker 1:I have not found a good way to smoothly transition from one segment to the other than saying, okay, time for the next segment.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, and, by the way, I already told you the story before we got started about your daughter two nights ago at the at the meeting. All our kids are getting ready to go to this church thing for the weekend and uh, it wasn't so much what do daughters say, but like what do they do?
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:It cracked me up. I went over and talked to your wife right afterwards. I said that was hilarious.
Speaker 1:Tell the story real quick again for the listeners. Yeah, so we're sitting in. I wasn't there. I wasn't there.
Speaker 2:So there's this thing for the high school, middle school and high school kids this weekend where they go and they basically spend. They're going to spend a Friday night and Saturday at somebody's house a volunteer here in the city, and it's going to be no phones disconnected and all of them able to just hang out and fellowship and uh and talk about you know what they're thankful for, talk about God and really just make it focused on that. And, of course, whenever you do something like that, we're the guardians. These are still, you know, kids, right. So we got to sign forms and there's some you know rules you got to follow and you know, don't bring a gun with you and all this like stuff. That's obvious, but they got to say it anyway. And so we're in there and the parents it's a mandatory meeting for the parents.
Speaker 2:I'm sitting here and then your wife is like one row back and one like over, with your whole clan there and your oldest daughter and uh, and they say, okay, oldest daughter, and uh, and they say, okay, anybody got any questions? And I'm glad your wife asked this question Cause I had the same question. She's like hey, I got a lot of kids going to the same does and she goes does, does everyone, do? I have to sign a form for every single kid? And she kind of like stands up and holds it up. And I look over and your, your daughter, just goes like this and I just started cracking up. I don't even think your wife I'm looking over at her while she's waiting for the answer and she looks at me and I'm just cracking up and I think she was wondering why is he laughing so hard? I'm like man, I feel that right there.
Speaker 2:Your daughter's just like I'm so embarrassed If you're listening the motion was just head in the hands like oh, my mom is asking questions, which is a great question too, by the way, do you have to fill out multiple forms? I was laughing so hard I didn't even hear the answer, so one of your kids might not have a form that they need.
Speaker 1:Only one of your kids is going.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I only got one who's old enough to do it. That's funny, man.
Speaker 1:Okay, are you ready for girl talk? Let's do it. I found sometimes they're better out of context, because then you get to fill in the blanks with where did that come from so? Here we go. Age 12. I'm okay with suffering, as long as I'm not throwing up Age 12. Adults look weird in the backseat of cars.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Isn't that true, though I can't tell you the last time I sat in the backseat of a car An Uber maybe.
Speaker 1:But when you see an adult in the backseat you're kind of like what are they doing back there?
Speaker 2:You know it does look weird. You should be up front running things.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but it was one of those observational things that a comedian would notice and be like yeah and everyone's like yeah, that is weird. What are. Don't tell anyone this, but I'm glad you're not. And then she named one of her friends' dads, I don't want to say his name.
Speaker 1:You don't know him, but anyway, pretty funny. Age five dad, you make me feel cozy enough. I asked mom to lay with me, but can you tell her I changed my mind. I want you to lay with me, I know All right. Age four diapers are like a toilet.
Speaker 2:That is profound, just true. Yeah, it's true.
Speaker 1:Same kid age four. Grandma pop quiz which dog do you like? On the Paw Patrol, as if all of us have an opinion right.
Speaker 2:Zach, which is your favorite dog.
Speaker 1:Can you name one dog on the Paw Patrol?
Speaker 2:The furry one.
Speaker 1:The furry one. There you go. Age 12, I had socks that say the future is now. Is that true?
Speaker 2:total serious question like is that?
Speaker 1:is that right? Is that true? Pretty awesome, I don't know how to answer it. Okay, here we go. Last one, age four, ah, man, so this is like a bathroom humor one, and people always said in your stand-up you shouldn't add bathroom humor. But how do you not do it when your kids say things like this Dad, I pooped on the toilet without Mom's phone. I knew you'd be proud. I want to go to Chick-fil-A and tell Claire I pooped on the toilet without Mom's phone.
Speaker 2:There's a lot to unpack with that one. I mean, what does that actually mean? Does the phone have instructions on it? Is mom encouraging? Is there a video of mom encouraging on the phone? She'll be really proud when she gets married someday and you put that like on a slideshow for all her friends to say oh man, that's what I'll threaten my kids with someday.
Speaker 1:She'll be really proud when she gets married someday and you put that like on a slideshow for all her friends to see. Yes, oh man.
Speaker 2:That's what.
Speaker 1:I'll threaten my kids with someday. I'll tell your boyfriend about my podcast episode 26 when I talk about what you said about pooping on the toilet with mom's phone.
Speaker 2:Okay, dad, no, no, dad, I'll be home on time.
Speaker 1:All right, man. Okay, all right. So now we're going to do some comments from the podcast and from the keynotes and whatnot, and then we should probably get to the main session because we're about out of time. Okay, you know what? Let's save the comments for next time. I'll just put these because it's too much for right now. I am going to do one. I take it back. Caleb is Ryken.
Speaker 1:On my last solo cast I talked about, ryken left a comment and then took it down and I was afraid I had offended Riken in some way. It turns out it was my friend, caleb. He called me and said hey, that was me, he goes. I took it down because I don't know why. He took it down for a good reason and then he put a new one on, but it wouldn't let him put a new one on. So it took away all my paranoia that I had offended right, because I was kind of making fun of it. See, it felt like I was making fun of reichen, but I wasn't, and so I was in my head again about I said something offensive and so, anyway, um, he put a new one on there. But go on and read it. Um, the title is inspiring, motivating, interesting, funny and insightful. So, caleb, thanks for putting that on there. I now have three comments on Apple Podcasts.
Speaker 1:All right, boom, boom, boom. That's what I'm talking about. All right, okay, so here we go. The main event. I told you about the book, right who, not how? And it's by Dan Sullivan and Dr Benjamin Hardy. I'm actually listening to the audio version of it, which, by the way, audiobooks rock, like I just haven't been a big reader over the years because of the time factor, but now audiobooks is like my new thing. It's my new jam.
Speaker 1:You can exercise and yeah exercise, drive, fly, I mean anything you know. So I've gotten so much reading in lately, and these are the two books. The other one is called 10X is Easier Than 2X, which I read first. It's called 10X is Easier Than 2X, which I read first, but this who, not how thing. So I'm going to put a link to both of these in the show notes so you can get them through Amazon if you want them. The who, not how thing is to. Basically, we always ask the question. When we want to achieve something, we always ask how, and that's apparently the wrong question. The question is who. That's the more effective question. So, like for me, for example, zach is one of my who's right, because when I would come in here and get set up for the podcast, it was overwhelming to like try to be. Like looking at the camera making sure the frame was in right, I'm like, oh, is it still recording While I'm trying to have a good conversation?
Speaker 2:with my guest.
Speaker 1:You're half in and half out the whole time, half in and half out the whole time. And then I would get home and I would have to upload the footage from my camera or my computer and then kind of put the bumpers on it and then let that render and then put that on YouTube and wait for that, and it was just kind of became an all day process. I said what if I had a who to help me with that? And so then I hired Zach to come on. So now he sets everything up, he edits everything, he puts the bumpers on it Boom, he's one of my who's.
Speaker 1:I had another who, and the question could have been how? How can I be more effective? How can I create more mind space? But the how wouldn't have got me anywhere right. It was all about who. I also have my overqualified assistant, crystal, who's been helping me on and off for like 10 years. She's been incredible and so she's editing like the shorts that we put on social media and she also does the email exchanges. She does so much for me and I could have been like how can I get these shorts done? It's like no who can do it for you. And as a perfectionist, it's hard to say who, because you're like no, I want, want to be how, because how keeps it in your own control. But when you're in a how mindset you're, you're gonna take up more of your time. You're gonna be doing things that other people are better at, and by by taking up that time like you're not opening up the time to to be able to like work on the creative part of your job yeah, the
Speaker 1:part that you can do. Yeah, so right. And then also I have a bookkeeper, someone doing my taxes. I could have said how can I do my taxes? No, who can do my taxes for me? So I have the bookkeeper. I also have a tax person who, once we have the books in line, we give it to him, and he's like a tax lawyer. So I realized that sometimes a who could just be a vendor. It might be someone who automates certain processes for you.
Speaker 1:So I'm working on getting more and more who's, because the ultimate goal is to make your business, if you're an entrepreneur, especially self-managing, so that I'm not answering emails, I'm not sending invoices. You know Crystal's doing all that stuff for me, but there's still too much that I'm doing. Yeah, you know, and so like, for example, marketing my podcast. You know Zach puts it on YouTube, but I need someone to promote it on social media other than just the shorts that we put on Instagram and YouTube and TikTok, like announcing, hey, this guest was on, check this out, and then sending out a newsletter, and those are all things that are kind of Crystal and I kind of balance it between the two of us, but, honestly, most of the time the ball just gets dropped because she's overwhelmed. I have her doing too much, I'm doing too much. I need another who to just help us with these small tasks.
Speaker 1:And so that's the power of the book, because once you start asking the question who, not how you get your freedom of time back, you get your freedom of money, your freedom of relationships, yeah, um, so I I mean, as I listen to the book, I'm always inspired. I need, I need to, I need to get more who's. And they made the point that a lot of people see a who as an expense rather than an investment. You know, and if we look at a who as an investment, uh, then we realize, yeah, I might be paying them money now, but that's going to exponentially allow you to make more money, because now you have people doing those behind the scenes things for you, so I can work on the creative part of my job. Yeah, right, I can chase more leads.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:In fact, I need a who to help me chase more leads.
Speaker 2:Yeah, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and so, anyway, and so that then I can have more days off, yeah, right, as an entrepreneur, because, like as an entrepreneur, you're always on, you're always working, yeah, and so you have to be very selective, like the one who wrote the book, I think. He takes off like 180 days a year. Mm-hmm. His wife puts them on the calendar, dan Sullivan's wife, I think her name is Babs. I would be more like look at the beginning of each week, which day can I take totally off and focus on my family? Yeah, you know, one or even two days, yeah, and while these books that they wrote are really geared toward entrepreneurs, honestly the mindset I see, even friends that I have, that work in the corporate world could apply some of these things. Oh, absolutely.
Speaker 1:So, like, for example.
Speaker 2:You have a lot of who's helping you right, that's actually a big part of what I speak about, believe it or not, really, and I like how it's put. You know there's different ways you can put that. I talk about decentralizing. That's a big concept of Top Gun and what made it so successful? Because and you know I'd switch gears here a little bit, but you know Top Gun was all about.
Speaker 2:We have this graduate level organization of how to take it to the next level. We teach these people how to do graduate level fighter pilot tactics and that's all the kind of the sexy part of it, right. But what Top Gun's really doing at the heart is it's teaching people how to be teachers and they're segmenting the different areas of everything you have to know about being a fighter pilot and they're making a couple different experts on each area. Hey, this guy is an expert on missiles. This guy is an expert on missiles. This guy's an expert on bombs. This guy's an expert on dogfighting. This guy's an expert on this highly technical system we have or whatever. And then they go out and they teach that. Okay, and the cool thing about Top Gun is they give you whatever you're going to be smart on.
Speaker 2:They call it a subject matter expert in the military. Okay, you're the subject matter expert for this area and now you own this and we just trust you to go out and be smart on it and go teach it to people. And there's very minimal follow-up on it. There's some accountability built into there to make sure that people are doing it effectively and all that. But for the most part, when I was a subject matter expert for my three-year tour when I was teaching, I was the expert in the Navy on it and they trusted me that I was the expert and I went and I gave talks to you know rooms of hundreds of pilots to teach, teach them about this stuff, and so that takes who's and that takes a lot of trust. You're like handing that off to somebody and going, hey, this is for the better of this whole organization, we're going to trust you with this task and you just run with it. Um, we call it big boy rules, big boy and big girl rules. And then now in my job at the wealth management firm I work at, I'm basically the head of the team.
Speaker 2:We do so many things there for people. We do estate planning, we do tax planning, we do financial planning, we do investment planning. We do risk management and insurance planning. These are all things that I know a lot about, but I don't have the time to go through every single one of these areas with somebody. So we have all these folks decentralized again the who's, if you will. You know, we have the whole estate planning firm. Like we hand that off to them. Hey, these folks that are clients need an estate plan drawn up. You guys run with this. Now these folks need a CPA to hold their hand throughout the year. You folks run with this. So I mean that sounds like a great book. I'd never heard of it until we just started talking about it.
Speaker 1:I'm going to check it out, man, because it's.
Speaker 2:I think that's not only does it take stress off of you and your shoulders, but it helps you actually be more productive in what your ultimate big picture goal is.
Speaker 1:Well, and it does take trust, Like. So, for example, I gave the podcast editing to Zach, which is basically putting the bumpers on there, and I've been kind of being like, hey, can you start the music earlier? Can you cut any? I'm kind of like borderline micromanaging. I told him this morning. I was like, hey, man, are you good with me asking for all these? I was like once we get it locked in, it'll be good. I just have a certain way that I like it in my mind and he's been real patient with my perfectionist. But you can't sit there and loom over and micromanage once you hand it off.
Speaker 1:You kind of have to let them, which I'm learning to do even with Crystal. You know, every once in a while I'm like I'm watching you too closely. I'm sorry, I need to back off and let you do your thing. But I think it comes down to hiring the right people up front Exactly that are capable but that are also teachable, which I find in both Crystal and Zach.
Speaker 2:And that's why I use the word decentralized versus delegate. Delegate to me implies hey, this is something I normally do for myself, I'm going to have you help me with this, but I'm going to kind of babysit it and report back to me. Decentralized more, I think, implies you're just going to run with this and I trust you and you own this area of the operation.
Speaker 1:Well, I think you'll find this book really resonates. Yeah, maybe even deeper than you realize, because he touches on delegations and how delegations is, and I don't remember what word he uses for what you use decentralization for like the better version of delegating. But the negative part of delegating that he pointed out was just that you're basically hiring someone that you will have to micromanage, yeah, and that You're basically hiring someone that you will have to micromanage and that, over time, is going to cause you more stress, more pain, and that, ultimately, you're going to have to fire and replace. Yes, because delegating is about you're still in it where decentralization is about. Now it's completely out of sight, out of mind, which is where you want to be with it.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, you know you got me pumped for this book, man I'm almost finished with the book I'm reading right now every night, and maybe I'll try the audiobook thing now too, oh man, because I've had some time there's a little bit of like shame and guilt baked into when you switch over.
Speaker 1:It's like when you start using AI, Like if you start using ChatGPT or Opus Clips, like we have for our shorts. I'm giving into it. I'm giving into the bots.
Speaker 2:The only thing I use chat. I've used chat GBT, but it's purely for entertainment purposes. I'll go write a story where Jesse saves the world and then a tornado hits, and I'll just see what it comes up with.
Speaker 1:Yeah, my kids have been writing.
Speaker 2:Taylor Swift songs.
Speaker 1:Like write a song about this and the voice of Taylor Swift, and yeah. But when you start listening to audiobooks you're like oh, am I a sellout? Should I be reading, reading? But it's like with the busy if you want to be productive man. I mean, I read while I'm driving. Yeah, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm trying to decide. I do take a lot of pleasure at night before bed.
Speaker 1:To kind of get me sleepy, drink a little mushroom tea with the melatonin and all that.
Speaker 2:And I read my novel and it's like it's just pure entertainment.
Speaker 1:It gets me sleepy, that's good.
Speaker 2:But I think something like this, that's more like I want to like really absorb it and it's not just for entertainment purposes, but it's like I'm trying to take something away. I could see, because that's usually when I go on a walk or workout, I do a lot of heavy thinking. That's kind of like my me time, where I kind of solve problems in my, my mind.
Speaker 1:I'm kind of in your own world, walking or even working out.
Speaker 2:I hit the gym I'm lifting weights and I and I'm rarely do I listen to music or anything. I'm listening to something that is usually trying to like help me, you know? So, um, yeah, you, just, you think you know. I got headphones on in the gym. People think, oh, he's got to be listening to like some death. I'm listening to like a podcast right now.
Speaker 1:It's so funny because something else you said made me think of the book he talks about. Your creative ideas don't happen when you're sitting in front of the computer, and I resonated with that big time. My best ideas come when I'm walking.
Speaker 2:Something about not running.
Speaker 1:Running's too strenuous for me. It turns off the creative juices. Sometimes if I'm driving it helps, but walking in nature is like when my mind opens up to like my best creative ideas.
Speaker 1:So he touches on that I'm just seeing like, oh man, you're going to just be, you know, because you're an entrepreneurial minded person, and, yeah, this is going to hit you hard Now. So here's, ultimately what I was thinking about titling this episode, because the book is called who, not how, and as you listen to it from my eyes, especially as an entrepreneur, you're thinking, oh my gosh, I'm going to start collecting all these who's and they're going to start running my business. I'm going to be free to take as many days off as I want and only focus on writing my book and my keynote and connecting with clients in fun ways. But I think finding who's initially for me, it's easier said than done. Oh yeah, Because Zach just kind of fell in my lap.
Speaker 1:Crystal just came to me by the blessing of God, just out of the blue, yeah, but I've never gone to actively try to find who's that work for me specifically. Now I know there's social media. People use LinkedIn, people use Facebook, like, hey, I'm looking for this, this and that, or they go to Indeed. You know, indeed is a big way to find people. But I'm just like there's that whole thing and he does talk about this in the book how to make the vision clear for the person you're trying to hire. Yes, but I'm working through that. How do I make this clear? How do I find someone specifically for the needs that I have?
Speaker 1:Because, I've seen some people on LinkedIn that they're podcast marketers. I'm like but are they the kind of podcast marker that I need, specifically Because I've hired some vendors in the past that it just wasn't exactly a great fit. So I think there's an experimental process of you just start doing it and you just hire some bad people which is some of the examples in the books.
Speaker 1:You just hire some bad people. When I say bad people, I just mean people that like, oh, you weren't the right fit for them, and vice versa. That's what I mean by bad people. I just mean people that like, oh, you weren't the right fit for them and vice sure. That's what I mean by bad people. Yeah, um, they're a perfect fit for someone else, um, in many situations. But you just gotta like, you just gotta take a risk. So I I've met so many entrepreneurs who are like I can't hire someone, what if I have to fire him soon?
Speaker 2:or what if they?
Speaker 1:don't do a good job.
Speaker 2:I'm like take that risk to have a better life I think, and I think sometimes in corporate world, people, people get wrapped around like do you have three years of experience with Excel and five years with QuickBooks, and all that.
Speaker 2:I think what's more important is the trust part of it. Are you a person that just naturally has initiative and can kind of figure out, problem-solve things? And those are the kinds of people that are, okay, I can learn this thing quickly and go figure it out. Or I can learn that you know you could have somebody, conversely, who is really talented on one of those little like areas. But you know they're always asking you like hey Devin, what do we do about this? Hey Devin, what do we do about this? And you're like, the reason I hired you, so I don't, I'm not here to answer these questions for you, like, figure it out, kind of thing.
Speaker 2:Little known secret that's how Top Gun picks their future instructors. That's how the Blue Angels pick their pilots. It's not on flying skills. It's assumed you're a decent pilot at that point. But all these people go oh, you must be the best fighter pilot or the best whatever pilot in the world. Yeah, you're good. But what they're hiring people on, like Top Gun, is picking people who have initiative and can teach. They're approachable and they can teach. And that's something you don't see in the movies the Blue Angels. There's actually a great IMAX. I'm promoting this now. The IMAX the first IMAX film ever. Documentary was done by like JJ Abrams and like this guy who's like big time movie dude.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I think in mid-May hits theaters the Blue Angels documentary. It's actually got some of my friends in there. I'm super stoked to go see it. But I know they're going to talk about this. They pick Blue Angel pilots not on the piloting skills but on their ability to communicate to crowds and spread the message, which is to promote the Navy right. So their most important job isn't the air show, it's afterwards, when they have a flight line behind the fence of 100 kids with posters going.
Speaker 1:I want to be a fighter pilot when I grow up, and inspiring them.
Speaker 2:So that's, that is how they get hired for that job, and most people don't know that. But obviously you got to be a good pilot.
Speaker 1:Right, right.
Speaker 2:But so that's kind of what I look at when I'm looking for people, you know, on the teams that I have. I want to. I want kind of the more intrinsic level of abilities of like, hey, this person's a problem solver, this person can kind of figure things out and can be left unattended, Right.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, no, yeah no. You talked about that when you were when we did yeah, a little bit like it's not so much about the stick and rudder. Skills is what you call it, but about like are you teachable Are?
Speaker 2:you humble.
Speaker 1:I said it pretty well back then yeah, yeah, so yeah, it's good to revisit that, but so I'm about I'm a little more than halfway through the book who, not how, and so I don't know if he touches more on exactly how to get the who's if he will you know, and that's something I just need to start. Sounds like a Dr.
Speaker 2:Seuss book now it does who, not how.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's funny. He does mention, because he does something like that with his rhyming and he makes a joke about it. But what I thought about was, like the title of this podcast, I was thinking about calling it instead of calling it like who, not how, who, but how Ah?
Speaker 2:Like how do.
Speaker 1:I get these who's, you know, because for me, I'm sold. I'm not like, do I really need these? I was like, no, I need a bunch more. I probably need like five right off the bat, but I just want to focus on one. But how? And so for me, I'm exploring the. Is it LinkedIn, is it Facebook, is it Indeed, or is there some other platform or some other mode of communication altogether where I can find the right who? And so my next who is going to be someone to basically market the podcast, because I'm writing the description myself. I'm using AI, but AI needs a lot of help at this point. Ai is not perfect, you know.
Speaker 2:Well, we share the same speaking coach, right.
Speaker 1:We do.
Speaker 2:We do who, who, who, not how right. A lot of times you find your who's from other people you already trust. Yes, Right. So you know, take Zach back here, he's a talented guy.
Speaker 1:Who knows, he may have some who's, you know, lined up that could do certain things. No pressure, you know, reverend, I'm expecting some who's from you Start who's who's?
Speaker 2:Yeah, no-transcript Right right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's great and maybe that is the place to start for me. And actually Dr Benjamin Hardy talks about in the book that his assistant does all the hiring for him now. Because she, that his assistant does all the hiring for him now Because she knows how to vet and train people. He's like we need to do this, we need someone for it. Go make it happen. He's done. He doesn't even do the searching, the vetting process, but that's a good tip, man, to just kind of put some feelers out to my inner circle and work from there. So I appreciate that. All right, so who? But how?
Speaker 2:Who dot dot? We're going to figure it out, but how?
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you know maybe at some point we'll follow up with this and talk about, maybe the who. But my goal is, within like the next three months, to have one new who doing the podcast marketing. For me, that's my commitment. That's like start small, like I say, start ugly, start small, pick up the ball.
Speaker 2:Let's go, man. I know, if you're down, I'm down, it's so much more fun to not.
Speaker 1:It's not a solo podcast but, it's not really a podcast with a guest, it's something in between. What would you call this?
Speaker 2:A podcast? Yeah, a podcast.
Speaker 1:There you go and also check out Zero Shoes, that is, zeroshoescom slash go, slash Devin. Okay, all right, let's wrap this up. Let's ask the question we always ask when you embrace the possibility mindset. We'll say what else is possible. I'll say what else you finish it with is possible. Okay, you got it.
Speaker 2:All right.
Speaker 1:Let's do this, Okay. Never stop asking the question. What else is possible? See you next time.